For years, I’ve laid on my bed daydreaming about finding the love of my life.
It was a fantasy, a thrill to take me out of reality for just one second. I was in love with the feeling that this fantasy gave me. The exact moment I snapped out of this daze, all my insecurities and sadness rushed back inside me and I was filled with shame, guilt, and hurt…
How am I supposed to have a family if I marry a girl? What would my parents think of me if they ever found out? Would my friends be scared of me if I told them?
I told myself, “I can do it. I can marry a man in the future and have children. I’ll still be happy. I know I can do it.” And I really believed that I could years after that. So much so that I lied to people close to me, pushed all my feelings deep down inside, and spent my days worrying about what people think of me. I suffered every. single. day. I was drowning in my own thoughts.
Then, I met her..