Jobs are Like Relationships
Jobs can be frustrating, whether searching for a job, or being happy at one. In the long run, it has always helped me to try to have an accurate view of the world. Recently, I stumbled on an analogy with relationships which made me feel a bit better:
First, job websites are like dating websites.
He might be thinking, “we might be a perfect match, I hope she responds!” She might be thinking, “ick, he looks a bit weird in that picture” (business owner: I don’t want any résumé that’s missing experience in skill X).
She might be thinking, “wow he’s hot, I hope he responds.” He might be thinking, “she’s cute, but I think I can do better” (business owner: she seems good, but I’m too busy to interview anyone without industry experience).
He might be thinking, “we might work great together if she just gave me a chance.” She might be thinking, “he’s not tall enough” (business owner: his degree isn’t from an ivy league college).
She might be thinking, “our interests don’t line up that great, but I’m good at swingin’ it with anything.” He might be thinking, “I don’t have the time to evaluate everyone, so I’ll only look at nerdy girls” (business owner: she doesn’t have a PhD).
He might be thinking, “we’re a bit different, but something about him really attracts me.” The other he might be thinking, “I only like black guys” (business owner: he has the wrong degree).
She might be thinking, “I’m just looking for a quickie.” The other she might be thinking, “I’m looking for something longer term” (business owner: she seems to be only looking at the job because of its fun factors).
He might have found a great match and wrote a long message (cover letter) but she never responded (business owner: using filters on résumés).
She might be thinking, “I’ll love him so hard.” He might be thinking, “I’m not attracted to her” (business owner: she doesn’t list the right skills and it’s too risky to let her learn on the job).
He might be thinking, “I’m ready to settle down.” She might be thinking, “He says he’s bisexual, so he’s probably not my type” (business owner: it’s a red flag that this person hasn’t held a long-term job).
She might have a lot of character, but doesn’t know how to advertise herself in her pictures and profile (business owner: I wasn’t wow’ed with the job accomplishments).
He might be thinking, “I’m old but I’m young at heart.” She might be thinking, “Eww, he’s old and crusty” (business owner: he’s too old for our organization).
She might be thinking, “I’m young and I just wanna have fun.” He might be thinking, “She’s too young and probably crazy” (business owner: she doesn’t have at least 10 years experience).
Just like dating websites, most people use superficiality and heuristics to cut through the volume; however, if people looked past their prejudices, they might find more happiness… and good job fits.
After you have the job:
I’m just not excited about him anymore (employee: putting out feelers for new jobs).
She doesn’t turn me on anymore (employee: not getting good bonuses).
I’m looking for somebody that’s more exciting/hotter/richer/etc. (employee: looking for a more meaningful career).
I’m looking to settle down and have children (employee: leaving at 5 o’clock on the dot).
I’m looking for more exciting sexual fantasies (employee: want moar money).
— — — — — — —
I found thinking in analogies like this useful because, just like with dating, being unaware of humans’ general tendencies, prejudices, superficialites, etc. puts you at a disadvantage and you might invest your time in the wrong things.
