Episode 1: We’re Back in Tokyo
Good evening! This is my commentary about the globally popular Netflix show, Terrace House. I observe how the six strangers living together interact, and I analyze the impression they make on Japanese viewers. This blog represents my unhealthy obsession for the show and my first-hand understanding of Japanese culture as someone who was born and raised in Japan. There is no bias at all in my analysis…or at least, I try!
You might find it hard to believe if I tell you that Terrace House is a perfect show to learn how Japanese people interact with each other. However, it’s true. Unlike other share house “reality” TV shows, which I will not name here, Terrace House is way more authentic as there are no deliberate dramas or events caused by someone who wants more screen time. The TV crew simply films the members interacting with each other; nothing more, nothing less. For the most part, the members’ behavior seems genuine to the extent where it sometimes is quite stressful to watch when something goes down.
For this commemorable article on the first episode of this season, I’ve chosen two scenes where the members try to get to know a little bit more about each other.
First impressions are crucial, as they will influence the way others perceive you — not only does this impact the rest of the members but more importantly, the viewers. Some of the crucial hints that Japanese viewers would pick up immediately are, unfortunately, overlooked by those who are not very familiar with the Japanese culture. Things like choices of words, tone, or attitude, just can’t be properly conveyed in text format. I’m here to fill in that gap in understanding.
Friendly or Rude?
In Japan, when you meet someone for the first time, one of the most important things that you should keep in mind is the style of speech that you use. You’re expected to be polite and respectful. It is a major faux pas to break this social rule. When the members get together for the first time, they talk politely — not too formal, but not too casual. They all do what is expected…all except for one.
Before I reveal who it was, let’s take a step back and look at the attractive new houseguests. They are, in the order of entrance:
- Kaori, a 28-year-old illustrator.
- Shohei, a 26-year-old actor/model/writer.
- Haruka, a 24-year-old actress.
- Kenny, a 31-year-old musician.
- Risako, a 21-year-old fitness instructor and parkour enthusiast.
- Ruka, a 20-year-old part-timer who works at a sports shop.
You’re probably wondering why I’m listing everyone’s ages. Well, that is because, in a hierarchical society like Japan, age has to do with everything — especially the way you talk.
As I’ve stated earlier, speech style is important in Japan as you are expected to adopt different forms of speech according to your age. Simply speaking, there are two forms of speech in Japan; 敬語 (keigo), the honorific form, and 平常体 (heijo-tai), or more colloquially, タメ語(tame-go), the casual form. (*1)
The rules are as follows:
When speaking to someone for the first time:
ALWAYS use the honorific form, unless you’re ABSOLUTELY certain that you’re the same age or older than them
When talking to someone older and/or more important than you:
ALWAYS use the honorific form, unless given permission and/or you’re BFF with them
When talking to someone the same age as you:
You can use the casual form unless you’re sending a subtle but not-so-subtle message that you don’t want to be friends with them
When talking to someone younger and/or a subordinate:
Go for the casual form, but the honorific form is preferred in official business settings
These social rules are almost instinctive to the Japanese and they are put on guard if someone does not follow them.
Now, to the big reveal: the big age-based blunder here was done by Haruka.
She breaks these rules by (a) immediately switching to the casual form after introducing herself, (b) continuing using the casual form even after learning that she’s not the oldest member.
By disregarding one of the basic rules when meeting someone new, viewers are slightly taken aback and would wonder if Haruka tends to disrespect boundaries. They may also wonder if she is a self-centered egoist, as people who don’t use the honorific form in expected situations tend to be quite condescending.
To be fair, Haruka’s behavior is not a major faux pas in this case. I mean, it’s Terrace House. If you’re living in a shared house with a bunch of people you’ve never met before for the next couple of months, you definitely want to establish a friendly atmosphere. Perhaps this is what Haruka was going for, and you can see that after she starts talking in the casual form, Kaori and Shohei follow suit.
Regardless of her true intentions, Haruka has made a not-so-great first impression here. And viewers will try to reconfirm that impression by her other behaviors — such as leaving Risako behind at the grocery store, or making a face when Shohei asks Kaori out.
Chill or Misogynistic?
Another interesting character that stood out to me was Kenny. With the English subtitles, he sounds like a cool, mature guy who wants to be in a relationship where he and his partner can both better themselves by helping each other and respecting their personal time. The impression he gives in Japanese, though, is almost the complete opposite. Some Japanese viewers have commented that he sounds like a chauvinist who refuses to date women who would threaten his sense of masculinity.
The key phrase that parts Kenny’s image as chill or sexist is the nonchalant comment he said over dinner. When asked what he looks for in a partner, the subtitles say that he is looking for “someone who wants to be stay-at-home.” While this translation is not necessarily wrong, it does not capture the true essence of this comment. What he really says in Japanese is this:
表に出る人以外 (Omote ni deru hito igai)
This literally translates as “any woman aside from those who go out in front.”
There is a subtle nuance here that is lost in translation. For those who understand it, it appears that Kenny is looking for a submissive woman who will not outshine him. That he is seeking for a woman who would sacrifice her career and social life to pamper him and boost his ego. Not a good impression!
Kaori, being an intelligent and career-focused woman, immediately caught this implication and asked him to clarify:
それは、三歩下がってみたいなのではない？ (Sorewa, sanpo sagatte mitai nano dewa nai?)
My translation: Do you mean that as in, ‘(women should) walk three steps behind (the man)?
To which Kenny responds,
いや、それはそれで最高だね (Iya, Sore wa sore de saikō dane.)
My translation: “Well, that’s actually awesome, can’t say no to that.”
Ehhhh….
The idea that “a woman should walk three steps behind a man” is an outdated misogynistic ideology. It means exactly what you think it means — that a woman must obey the man at all times, that she must stand behind his back to support him, and that she must not excel him.
While this mentality is still more or less pervasive in modern Japan, to use these exact words to describe a woman how she should behave is extremely off-putting and alarming. It’s maybe something you hear from your ultra-conservative middle-aged boss, who thinks that a “casual” sex joke is still acceptable at the workplace. So for Kenny, a 31-year-old, to vocally state that he wouldn’t refuse a woman that “walks three steps behind him” is an instant red flag for many modern Japanese women.
You might wonder if Kenny’s way of thinking is the norm. Well, to answer that question, you can watch these short videos by Asian Boss that pretty much sums up what dating life is like in Japan:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wTdKoigdjwQ
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M9yCe_Fj3X8
Generally speaking, women are advised to praise and agree with everything that the man says in order not to steal his thunder. Every woman knows of the magical words that would make any man fall in love with them:
さすが！(sasuga) Wow!
しらなかった！(shiranakatta) I didn’t know that!
すごーい！(sugōi) You’re amazing!
センスいいですね！(sensu ii des’ne) You have great taste!
そうなんだ！ (sōnanda) I see!
Women are taught to act dumb, or by the very least, to conceal their intelligence and skills to be chosen by a man. And sadly, quite a few men still seem to fall for and expect this behavior.
Before we move on, let me stress that I’m not saying that Kenny is a misogynist.
All I know of Kenny is within the frame of Terrace House and it would be unfair of me to judge his personality based on that short clip. Moreover, some people say that the “three steps” has nothing to do with sexism but is actually a courtesy that originated in the 18th century Japan, when the man was expected to protect the woman with his sword in case someone happens to attack them. This is perhaps akin to “ladies first” or “men should walk on the outside of the sidewalk.”
Maybe Kenny this interpretation in mind when he agreed with Kaori; it’s impossible for me to tell. That being said, there is no denying that the “three steps” idea does have a strong sexist connotation. Whether or not Kenny was aware of that, it gives off the impression that he has old-fashioned gender role expectations, and that he is a narcissist that needs a woman for his massive ego. And like Haruka, he will be perceived based on this impression for the rest of the episodes for many Japanese viewers.
That was a whirl winding episode and so much to uncover already!
With this in mind, try rewatching those scenes and see if you have a different opinion of Haruka or Kenny. Perhaps you’ll see them in a whole new light.
Thanks for reading and see you next week!
Avery
(*1) A sentence with keigo usually ends in です (desu) or ます(masu). Tame-guchi, on the other hand, has so many variations according to the gender, dialect, or colloquialism, but the some of the most common ways are だ(da), ね(ne), or よ(yo).
Edited format on September 28th, 8:13 am
