The Alternative (mostly impractical) Guide for Job Seekers: How to be your Best Job Huntress (or Hunter) without Losing Your Soul
Part 1 in a series of tbd.
As an art historian who finished her PhD and went into the job market just as the pandemic hit, I’ve collected more than my fair share of experience as a job huntress. I’ve learned very little but have opinions on everything. In this series, I will go through all the advice I’ve gotten with notes. If you have other ones to suggest, please do. Otherwise, sit back, and get ready to become very, very unsuccessful.
Installment #1 — Connections, Connections, Connections
If you’ve been searching for a job, you’ve heard this — use connections, get a network going, ask everyone for help, make people work for you. For me, this comes down to “how annoying are you willing to be?”. Don’t forget, you’re already quite annoying probably, with your incessant whinging about how the job market is so challenging and fickle. So it’s a short leap. Plus, the longer you’ve been seeking a job, the less shame you’ll have. My issues with this advice are different: 1. Your friends are as lost as you are, probably — if they heard of a an amazing opportunity, they’d apply themselves. In short, they’re useless. 2. Your other friends, who made better life choices, can’t help you because you’re not close to qualified for doing anything where they work except answer phones. Keep them; they’re good for when you’ll need money and jealousy. 3. No one understands what you’re looking for in a job. As an honest millennial snowflake, you want your degree in the fine arts to lead to a job that’s creative and interesting, somewhere in education but also culture, where your unique talents (which are??) will shine, and where you can make a positive impact on the world and people and the universe. Of course, they have no idea how to help you — you’ve invented a fantastic beast of a job that is so nebulous they’re very impressed but forget it as soon as they hear it (kinda like your thesis topic).
You could also bank on your shamelessness and contact complete strangers — the HR person who published the job, a random LinkedIn employee of a company you covet, that distant friend who made it big. Offer to meet up for coffee, they say, pitch your snowflakey self, wow them into creating a job for you. I’m not saying don’t do it, it sounds like a reasonable, proactive, mature thing to do. Just saying I’m doubtful. And that that’s a lot of energy being charming to strangers, and a lot of coffee money. But yeah, maybe they’re cooking a job that is a perfect fit, and everything will work like a charm. Hey, we run on fantasy fumes and shattered dream dust, so ultimately I say — if it makes you feel like you’re doing something, then you know — go for it! In the job hunt, and in life, just do whatever you know. It’ll work out. (I clearly stated this would be unhelpful advice).
#jobhunting #networking #jobseekers
Pictured: a coffee meeting between yours truly and the laptop. Great success.
