On Choosing The Significant Other

At first I didn’t really think about it, I would stick to my previous concept of the "fun and fine".

Fun, meaning we could share the same interest, and if not, we could still comfortably enjoying our own interests together.

Fine, meaning he should be smart and wise enough to know the difference of the good and the bad, and he should be able to stick to the good too. What can you expect from someone who still follows the bad although he knows it might be harmful, even for himself? If he cant protect himself, how could he protect you? He should be reliable.

A year has passed and everything seems to change a lot. At this time last year, I wouldn’t have pictured the now-me. Yet, they say it is very normal to change. People change. If you don’t, maybe you’re not human.

Not that I don’t stick to my “fun and fine" rules in the journey of finding the right man, I still do, but now I’ve been thinking again about it recently, the question all of a sudden popped to my mind,

“Why would I accept the idea of marrying this man? Why didn’t I think about it earlier?”

Just like that and I gave it quite a deep thought.

You know, we have all these rules and standards of finding the right man, but when the time comes, you (well, maybe I) would just forget all about it. I don’t quite remember it, maybe I got cold feet, maybe I panicked, maybe I was just feeling it without thinking, maybe I... I don’t know. There’s a lot of possibilities I couldn’t mention them all.

And yes, when my time came, I don’t think I gave it a thought. Maybe I should have. Maybe I should not. Either way, now I’ve done that, and I think of why I did accept the idea of being with him for the rest of my life raising children.

I would say there’s three:

1. He’s a close friend

I’ve promised myself if I ever want to get married someday, it has to be a close friend. He’s a close friend, one in my circle. Why a friend, maybe because I know I might be particularly hard to handle, difficult to cope with,so I need to know that he would be able to handle me. And that’s in daily basis.

2. He's my better half

I always want someone better than me. I wouldn’t want to settle for less.
This means two things, one is he’s better than me, and two, he is able to make me better.
I would do some sort of Q&As with him. Generally, I would see him as a better me. I want a better version of me in other body, and I also want a better me. So, yeah.

3. Like children like father

A good friend of mine gave me a hint, or a clue, or a key question to ask to myself:

“Do you want your children growing up having his qualities?”

Whether it’s a girl or a boy, I’d want to say I don’t mind ☺