On Women: Balancing Love, Career, and Education
We all have our own goals.
There's the so-called quarter life crisis, the one you get thinking so much in your 20s, which one better suits you as there are many options with its own benefits and consequences and you just wonder,
“How to work this out, choose what makes us happy the most, and if possibly, achieve all the goals?”
"I'd like to work and climbing up to the top of my career ladder, but when am I going to get married then?"
"I don't mind getting married at young age, but if I do now I would lose all my chance to study abroad."
"I want to have my master degree, but I want to work too."
"Or, I can work for x years and after that continue master for around x years. Well, but wouldn't I be too old and over-achieve for man to get married?"
Some people might have their own, but I think those are the basics most people want. I've also had those basic needs, basic dreams, basic goals: love, career, and education. It'd be lovely to have them all.
Traditionally, a woman would have to choose one out of three. But why choosing if we can get them all in balance?
Well, everyone has their own sort of priority. For me, family and friends come first. My loved ones are my support system. And I also believe, despite the misunderstood feminism nowadays, deep down we women know it is our place to serve our husbands, to raise our children, to cook the healthy foods, to make sure everyone in the family gets enough love. The pleasure is priceless and irreplaceable.
It is the real life. What they don’t teach you at school, they teach you here. It doesn’t matter what degree you have, or what subject you study, you would always have to learn again and again. Some people take is as a chance, some as a burden. I, would rather look it as my improvement opportunity.
Education gives us ways of thinking, how to see problems, and how to solve it. Some are lucky enough to have the greatest teacher and be real educated, which reflected in their attitudes.
In short, love, career, and education are equal importance. We might end up not having them all, but it's worth the fighting.
The second question about achieving them all is,
“In what order do I want to achieve them?”
We all have our own goals, on our own life timeplan, based on our own purposes and values. We're setting them up in the timeline. A goes after B, which followed by C, etcetera etcetera. But then it crossed my mind it doesn't have to follow our plan. The chance of achieving all of it itself is already little, so if I do get them all, I would be more than a woman in content. Moreover, there's always something behind the destiny. The reason why our plan has never matched reality. The blessings in disguise.
By the way, this was my plan.
I planned to graduate when I was 22, getting experience in industrial field for around 2 years, that means until 24, continue my postgraduate for 1 year until 25, and get married. I thought it's perfectly desirable and proper age, when I still have the capacity, opportunity, and ability, both physically and mentally. I used to wish to have those goals, predict them in a certain period, and worry how can I get all of them on time, or what if I can't get it same way I imagine it. The next thing I was worried about was where would I find the man hahahaha I was still single back then.
Well, plans are just plans. I didn't get it the way I imagine it, but I still get them all in the best scenario I could have never imagined.
All I know is we just have to do our best, and believe that God will take care of the rest.
And the reality went like this.
I achieved in finishing undergraduate when I was 22 years old and got a job as a junior product manager (which I love!), which was a pleasant job and well paid, in a place where I met my fiance (or soon-to-be husband), whom happened to be my coworker and my close friend in my circle, who proposed to me when I was reaching 23. I am now 23 and feeling more content than ever, still surrounded by amazing family and friends, lately have a chance to pursue master study (which I'm really really praying for), and there are just many many more things to be grateful of.
So, what's there to complain about?
Well I've got my lovely career, and my loving man, and hopefully also the master course in UK I'm still fighting for (wish me luck). My little note on the blessing in disguise is if I've taken master before getting married, I wouldn't have my personal partner for Euro trip, but if I later get the scholarship (amin!) I'll have my husband accompanying me to UK (amin again!)
Of course, it all sounds good and easy, but you've all been there to know that what you have today was never been an easy efforts, right?
"You can not gain something without sacrificing something else in return." - Edward Elric.
I've had my ups but also my downs, had the time when life joked on me that I want to laugh about now. I can be feeling this happy because I've been feeling worse.
I admit there are things I secretly complain too, from time to time, but it only leads me back again to two things: focus only to good things and spread only the positive vibes (true, that people only reveal what they'd like on social media).
In the end, it all comes down to your choices and which one you choose. I, would like to focus on the good things to be more grateful, that leads to the feeling of contentment.
I'm still going through the struggle myself at this time, and I wouldn't say it's easy, but I think it's definitely worth fighting for.
PS: Please keep in mind, whatever you're planning and however it goes:
God knows best :)