Been quite a while, yes?

Months since my last entry, if I remember correctly. And today, a fuckin joke prompted me to write. The ever-bad joke that is the world.

I thought that what I’ve been doing for the last year and a half is immerse more in real life. But yesterday showed me that I knew virtually nothing.

I love fictional literature. Spent the most of my writing days trying to make an interesting piece. Why, people ask. …


Hierophant, Seven of Swords, and the World. In that order.

That’s about it.

Says that now I’m at the right place, and that the path I chose will eventually bear fruit.

But the process will be stricken with challenges — or worse, failures.

I’m tired of having to fail. Tired to see another door slam shut in my face, despite having seen the view beyond. Tired of it happening due to myself, unwilling to compromise.

I’m tired having to reset everything to square one. Tired at my own sickening habit of preparing. Tired of my own expectations. …


Today, I’ll tell you how I utterly despise height.

Wait, the fuck do you mean by that?

You heard it the first time. Measurement from head to top in a most literal sense, or the concept of ‘being a certain distance above the ground’. And any other different meaning associated with the word, really. I hate every part of it.

No wonder you haven’t reached 170.

Ha ha original joke. Now shut it, will you? I’m making a point over here.

Anyways.

Consider this. Personally, I associate height with the sky. I believe you know where this came from.

What else, to be honest? The sky is the epitome of height. Very unsettling, too. You know what it is, you know where to find it. But can you actually define it? Unlike the ground and the sea, it is the only medium that you can never visually perceive. It’s like hearing a story about that friend of your friend. You never saw it yourself. It’s hard to believe or even relate. …


It was just past midnight. I paced throughout the sterile halls of the old building, the blackened sky peeking every once in a while from the intermittently placed windows.

I had all the time in the world. So is the case for him – especially so. But I can’t help the feeling of being late.

This fucking hospital is a glorified maze, I swear to god. What did the receptionist said? Go to the other building, and… first exit? Second? …


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Once Earth was.

The man-made vessel hangs a stark contrast to the vast emptiness. Composite plates glinting against the ever-present solar rays, bringing justice to its namesake. Once, its creators had imagined it to roam the skies, granting knowledge that could benefit the motherland. Once, it had done just that. Once, the earth became a silent witness to its undying duty. But not anymore.

Now, it stays a vessel. That much is true. However, it serves no longer the humanity nor the motherland, but as the shelter of a lone man.

It has been 23 days since the disappearance of Earth.


Maybe I fuckin jinxed the whole thing — I couldn’t tell for sure.

It all starts the other day, at the high of noon. Some girl I frequently see at the coffee store suddenly came by and told us (or just the barista to be completely honest) about her existential dread.

Her fear is all grounded though, I could assume where she was coming from. The burden of expectations are that great after all.

The contradiction between doing what you want and what you need to do.

The urge to be at par with your academia. …


Limbo, lulls, calm before the storm.

You name it.

It applies universally, because the universe is a harsh mistress. You know it.

It stays for a while, just enough to make you comfortable. Then it leaves.

Scratch that

It does not leave, per se — it reverts to how it used to be.

And now you are duller than before because you went and acclimatized to the limbo.

Who’s to blame? Nobody.

It’s just how we work. We, all of us, is a perpetual machine of adaptation and evolution. The whole world is. …


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Goddamn.

The sky suddenly poured all of its content down to earth.

I was on my way to the office party when it started. Thank my gut for telling me to bring the coat. I thought it would rain, but I’d never have guessed it would be this hard. I managed to get to the building where the party is going to be held. My coat covered my torso, but my pants got drenched.

Kind of.

I proceeded to climb the stairs. I need to go up 5 floors. Or was it 4? I wasn’t paying much attention when my boss told the whole office about this party. Oh well. …

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quarter life crisis personified

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