intimidated by therapy much? [Photo by Ricky Kharawala on Unsplash]

The past few months I have been asked over and over again: Avisha, how do I go about finding a therapist?

For some people of color, therapy isn’t the first go-to when we feel emotional turmoil. We might choose to ignore it, pray it away, sleep it off, or at worst, let all the emotionally uncomfortable stuff manifest in our bodies and get sick from it. ( I say “we” because I denied the fact that I needed therapy for about 4 years before I finally hit rock bottom and sought it out).

Mostly, our communities of Black, Brown, Asian…

unsplash image by scott webb.

Lately I’ve been listening to clients talk about their desire for routines and rituals.

Morning routines, pre-sleep rituals, exercise routines, office habits and rituals. And I get a lot of questions about how exactly to begin these practices. How will I find time to integrate yet another thing into my day?, they ask. What ritual will work best for me?, they wonder.

In these conversations, I typically offer three things:

  1. You won’t really know what works for you until you try some things out. I would recommend trying one thing for a few days and then pay close attention to…

The art of letting go is a practice. Life gives us scenarios all the time which require us to let things go, to let them be as they are.

Letting go, letting the situation be what it is, letting our need for control take a backseat — these are all practices which many of us do not initiate regularly.

So, life says to us, “here you go, practice with this person!”

To which we may promptly reply with disgust at the opportunity for practice — the #OFP.

I spent the better part of three years practicing letting go of the…

“To simply be part of the energy of trying…and never giving up on it — this is the secret to life.” ~Barbara Abercrombie

Ponder this: if you do not try something out, you will never know if that something will work for you. If you don’t try to think differently about a situation, a person, or an event, how will you ever know if your reaction toward it will change?

Wouldn’t you rather exert energy trying than the alternative of…not?

Think about one habit you have right now that you don’t want to have anymore. Maybe it’s a habit of…

Grace used to be a thing I understood as something people on tv said before they ate meals. An ask from an outside source for a blessing, a way to not get sick from a prepared meal.

I had heard of Grace being a name, so often, in fact, that. I named a succulent plant I was given “Gracie”. When I gave that plant to a friend to take care of while I traveled, I said, Gracie will remind you to give yourself grace. …

When’s the last time you had a doubt about something? The last time something scared you?

These feelings occur every day in my life.

Today I doubted my ability to walk up a steep hill due to an achey lower back and sore legs from walking up the same hill two days ago. I took a deep breath and reminded myself that I didn’t have to walk up the steep hill the way I did last time. That I could go at my own pace and not one that was determined for me.

I feared I would leave the walk…

Some of us, when we think of harming ourselves, immediately access the idea of physical harm. We think of injuries, purposeful or not, that we impose upon ourselves.

But what about when we are mentally “hard” on ourselves? Is that not harmful to our whole selves as well?

For example, if we don’t meet a goal we set for ourselves, we might immediately replay all the ways in which we haven’t met goals before, thus shaming ourselves, putting ourselves down, and blaming ourselves for being the worst people in the world. Isn’t that a little harmful? …

What is the present moment?

Look at your fingers, wiggle them if you are able.

Now look at your toes, and wiggle those if you are able to.

There. You…

There’s no better place to begin than where you are.

Many of us tend to focus on how to prepare to start something down the line, but why not just…

avisha chugani

counselor | consultant | writer | yoga practitioner for folx working to uplift our communities. ☯️✊🏾💟

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