flux

I don’t want to fall into this depressive state but I find myself really losing a grip on my emotions at times. talking about it with other people will not help as i am currently at a point in life where every moment is a defining moment. and a lot of change is happening right now but its approaching me as my daily inopportune misfortunes. i thought i was invincible but everything that could go wrong is going wrong. i dont believe people can relate to the kind of adversities i am facing right now and that feels a bit lonely. i hope these changes are actually masking the good things coming my way. luckily, i already have a lot of good things in life to keep me somewhat grounded. i believe that everything does happen for a reason and I am determined to see it through to the end. my mind is strong, and my body is a vessel of resilience. i can do this. i have to say this to build myself up because i am also breaking down every single day. i’ve cried several times this week and its only Wednesday. everytime i cry though, i feel like i am shedding old layers. i feel reborn and thats how i know with vulnerability, comes strength. i allow myself to grieve and thats how im going to come out of this stronger than ever. today we grieve, tomorrow we fight. rinse and repeat.

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