it is not about you.

none of my fear, anger, sadness and hurt is about you. its about me. i dont blame you for a n y t h i n g. i still love you. i remind myself everyday to not let any of the bitterness, cloud the love i’ll always have for you. i dont think about you as much anymore and when i do, it doesnt hurt at all. i healed fully and i did it all on my own. it doesnt even matter to me if you don’t feel the same. because this is about me finally being at peace. i still do get hurt when you seem to get hostile out of nowhere and i feel like i need to tiptoe on eggshells to not provoke you. i truly dont think you care about me anymore, but i’ve always loved without expecting anything in return. all these reflections i have now aren’t indications that i have regrets. i had a dream a week ago that you told me you wish you never met me so you couldve avoided this prolonged break up. all i felt during this dream was relief that you finally could communicate what you feel instead of being passive aggressive. our friendship atm is definitely inconsistent but sometime in the future i would like to work on it. the romance has evaporated but i think our friendship is worth something to hold on to.

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