An Open Letter to Sarcasm

Dear Sarcasm,

I have something against you. Your inherent wittiness makes you the ideal method for dismissing whoever the user find disagreeable. I myself tend to give sarcastic responses to whatever or whoever I think is stupid, but I’ve been thinking about putting the brakes on you for a while now.

To me, sarcasm in excess shows a lack of sincerity. Whenever you’re abused by someone who doesn’t have the word “subtlety” in his vocabulary, he ends up not being as trustworthy as he should be. He could be speaking from the heart or pulling on my leg again to see if I’d chase my own tail.

They say that, “If you don’t want to hear sarcastic answers, then don’t ask stupid questions.” Fine, most people would get annoyed when someone wastes their time with something that the said idiot can solve himself. However, what if that person is stupid to begin with? It may seem unlikely to you, but that person may not get sarcasm at all.

When someone doesn’t get the hint in such cases, people tend to keep being sarcastic to the point of being inconsiderately obnoxious. You’re supposed to be subtle, like a verbal riposte, but it’s no good if you’re wielded like a rusty screwdriver rather than a precision tool.

If a person can’t be either straightforward or forgiving in such instances, having to rely on sarcasm instead, then that person is either a coward who’s too used to hiding behind you or an asshole who blatantly shows a lack of class and patience.

If a person can’t respond in a calm manner, directing said idiot to a destination or frame of mind without an exasperated sigh or rolling of eyes, then that person is a knife too dull to cut; a mind too narrow to adapt.

Sincerely,
S.