Finally, I'm living.

As I gracefully move my fingers over my keyboard to type this out; i am exceedingly thankful, fulfilled and content. Every fleck of breath I inhale only leaves me replenished. I’m conscious of everything.....even the air as it sweeps past my face. I feel a confidence which transcends general acceptance/self-gratification and which isn’t dependent on feelings but is built from a humble yet reasonable value that the pursuit of my dreams has imparted me.

I'm finally living hurray!!

But this doesn’t mean I’ve arrived(whatever this means), neither have I achieved my goals. I’m alive because I found my path. Its meandering, rugged and i’m a bit scared but at least I found it.
 
What brought live into my life

God, self-help books, medium and the stories particularly of (Tchassa Kamga, Sammy j, Befoune c. And Christopher Connors) which have inspired me a lot and made me realize we’re humans after all, so its okay to screw up sometimes. I follow a lot of people here on medium who propose outstanding ideas but I need just a few stories to come alive.

I am alive.

As I type this out, I’ve come home; writing is home. I see God in the intruding sunlight from the window warming my heart and shining light into my path. I know God led me here to have holistic life where I don’t cry defeat in the face of my least adversary or whine at the quotidian boredom of live.

He led me here to connect to the good things and disconnect from wrong ones.

He led me here to share my story and encourage someone.
 As you read this, I’m more alive than I’ve been in years. Why didn’t anyone tell me confidence and balance in life could feel this good. Why would I ever want to trade this mountain top view? I love it here, it can only get better.

I'm still the same girl I was yesterday, I still have petty issues to deal with, I have a messy kitchen and laundry to do but I'll do them differently today ( to be honest I've been doing them differently for a while now, even my brother who hardly compliments, did say "keep up"). Its been awhile since I started to feel alive, I didn't get here in a day or week. So what I'm certain of is that I won't be here tomorrow, I must have taken another step - another step to live.

So today, when I say I’m okay, I will mean it in every sense because i really am okay.

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