With my finals at my doorstep (they start from tomorrow) when else could have been better for my crippling anxiety to pay me a overwhelming visit, right?
Honestly, I’ve been stuck here for the past month. Here? If you’ve ever had a meltdown, you know a little before it happens that it’s going to happen. And I’m stuck in those moments that precede the actual wrecking process; and my oh my, how (not) fun this is.
I’ve got a terrible headache as I write this and I’ve had it for the past five hours now. I can’t really use the phone to call someone since my parents are home and they’ll hear me and get worried. But who am I kidding, none of my friends are free to talk anyway. They’re night people and I’m just people. And I really don’t know whom should I call. I don’t like calls and none of them has asked me all day (rather, week) how I’ve been doing so it’s not nice of me to bother them in the middle of the day either. They’ve got stuff to do too.
I'm tired of the routine that I'm stuck in. I'm tired of the clock ticking over my head. I'm tired of sleeping. And I'm tired of staying awake. I want to go out but I really don't. I could use some company right now but everyone lives too far away and the people who don't are ones who just make me feel worse. I've had an argument with a friend who knows me well. And then.... I guess that's it.
This blog is boring to read, isn't it? It lacks structure and depth. It's vaguely descriptive and the 'issues' sound petty.
Well if that is the case, then I'm happy with this nonsensical rant because it couldn't have described me any better, you see.