The Five Ways You (Yes YOU!) Unconsciously Sabotage Your Own Success

Let’s be honest. At some time or other we’ve all unconsciously sabotaged our own success, whether it’s through perfectionism, fear of failure, or as simple a thing as turning up after a failed job interview and smearing the CEO’s car in soured yoghurt carefully tinted to resemble male ejaculate.

But by following these 5 simple tips you will stop GETTING IN your own way and start GETTING your own way! #success

They really are that simple, so what are you waiting for, apart from your dead mother’s approval?

1. Perfectionism

Let’s get one thing straight: perfectionism is a trap. It traps hard-working people into thinking they need to be ‘ready’ for success and it traps mentally immature young women into thinking one slip-up in their father’s search history means they can screw them for rent money for the rest of their lives.

Well I’m going to level with you: I don’t buy it.

Not only is perfectionism simply an excuse for not crushing it but monogamy is harder than it looks as you will no doubt discover when you finally trick that shit head Ryan into marrying you.

A woman, causing trouble.

2. Lack of confidence

Sure your qualifications, creative ideas and physique are underwhelming at best, but why should that stop you from achieving everything you’ve ever dreamed of?

The many reasons you just thought of are all examples of you unconsciously sabotaging your own success.

Stop doing it, and recognition and rewards are guaranteed!

3. Overthinking

Are you Hamlet? No. Then quit overthinking every goddamn thing! Overthinking is like kryptonite to the Superman of Crushing It. Plus, when you’re too busy thinking there’s no room for positive vibes to accumulate in your Zone of Productivity — and that my friends is a scientific fact!


4. Failing to keep any of the above yoghurt to prove you didn’t smear ejaculate on your potential boss’s car

This is the big one, guys! Turns out judges don’t have much of a sense of humor about this sort of thing. Which is ironic seeing as the joke’s on them now I’m a millionaire lifestyle guru and wellness coach who’s ejaculate fetches $500 a pop at the local fertility clinic!

A biased judge

5.Giving up

Never give up! If you’re tempted to give up for ONE SECOND for example to pursue personal happiness or spiritual fulfilment remember that this is your Inner Loser talking and you must smash his head to a pulp with your Brick of Determination just like you denied doing to that Hispanic guy in the cells!

Thanks, guys. And remember, keep dreaming!

DON CHUDD is an inner wellness coach and the author of groundbreaking success manual Awesomize Your Life, a 360 degree system for inner wellness and personal fulfilment. Follow his insights at @awesomizethis

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