Why Aren’t Your Kids Allowed to Be Your Friends?

Demonizing a parent-child friendship says a lot about you.

While each parent has their own style, there’s one thing that the majority of parents agree on, you can’t be your child’s “friend.” Many believe that you cannot be friends with your child because “they won’t respect your authority,” or they will “cross boundaries” and find less value in your words and role in their lives. However, these statements are a direct reflection of your perspective of what it means to be a friend.

As a parent, you are one of the most influential people in your child’s life, whether you or they like it or not. You are the first person to teach and influence them on the way they are meant to treat others. You teach them how to treat their teachers, family members, strangers, and of course, their friends.

If you firmly believe that your child will treat you badly if you develop a friendship with them, it says a lot about you and the way you view and handle friendships in your own life.

Why is it that you think your children will disrespect you and the boundaries you set if you develop a friendship with them? Do you respect your friends and the boundaries they set for you? Or do you undermine and demean your friends? Are you loving and caring towards your friends? Or do you often treat them insensitively and abandon their feelings? Do you want what’s best for your friends? Or are they simply a means for your entertainment or pass time?

If you genuinely believe that being friends with your child is a negative thing, it says a lot about your perception of what it means to be a friend.