My Typical Day as a Work From Home Parent

When my adventure partner, bedroom lover and best homie, Alexandra, went back to work from maternity leave in the beginning of September, I stayed home to watch our son, Arro, while I continued working.

At the time, I was on the user experience team at TechStyle Fashion Group. As of Thursday, October 18th, I said, “Peace Up, A-Town” for the last time to pursue a personal venture. I’ll write about that in my next story.

Here’s what my typical day looks like as a work-from-home parent:

Wake up, get ready and change Arro’s diaper and outfit.

Alex would leave for work while Arro and I drive to Starbucks. On the way back home, I would drive around until he passed out.

Back home. Carry Mr. Sleeping Beauty inside and lay him down in his playpen (aka baby prison) next to me as I check email, social media notifications, my to-do list for the day and prepare his bottle—which is about 6 ounces of organic breast milk with a tablespoon of rice cereal.

Arro would start to move around while he’s still asleep, which is my cue to heat up his bottle.

The devil is awake and crying for food. I would change his diaper and hand him the bottle as he grabs it like some sort of drama queen who hasn’t eaten for days.

After his thick ass is done eating, I set him down in the baby prison with his toys while I do the dishes and clean up a bit.

Throw Arro in the stroller and cruise around the block until he passes out.

Back home and quietly place him in his crib with the baby monitor on so I can creep on him while I get stuff done.

During this time, I have about 60–90 minutes before he wakes up again, so I do as much as I can from my to-do list. It usually includes: making my first meal of the day, answer more emails and notifications and saddle up on the computer to work.

Prepare his second bottle of the day as I hear him cry through the baby monitor.

Get Mr. Fussy Pants, give him a big ass hug and feed him some organic boob juice.

Lay him in his baby prison with his toys and hop back on the computer to work.

This is where it gets tricky.

When he’s awake, he’s active and exploring — making sounds I didn’t know were possible. On average, I would get about 10–15 minutes of work time before attending to the little dude for being cranky, a dirty diaper, massive spit-ups, wanting attention and everything in between.

So it’s a constant game of 10–15 minutes of productivity, then 5–10 minutes of Arro time, on repeat for two hours.

This is the time when he’s sleepy and gets super demonic, knowing he’s about to fall asleep. So I strap him in our baby chest carrier as I’m working on the computer, bouncing up and down on our medicine ball chair. Within 15 minutes of struggling, he gives up and falls asleep — giving me a little less than an hour to continue working.

Arro will wake up wanting to play, so we mosey over to the couch, where I would set up a mini-camp and play hide-and-seek or “What’s Daddy Going To Have For Lunch” or whatever.

Alex gets home from work, we make dinner and spend time together as a family watching Netflix and sneaking farts against each other until Arro goes to bed.

After a solid hour of struggling to stay awake, Arro would finally pass out for the night.

Alex would head upstairs to go to bed, while I jump back on the computer and continue working.

Start shutting down, make sure all the windows and door are locked and head upstairs to join Alex at SnoozeChella, featuring DJ Pillowcase and The Comforter.

Arro wakes up crying and hungry. But not your typical cry—more like a cry you would do if you found out Susan from accounting, who criticizes about your tattoos, had her Chinaware stolen.

I would grab Arro from his room, change his diaper and bring him into our room, where Alex would feed him her titty sauce.

Arro wakes up again because he knows we value our sleep and doesn’t like that. Sometimes he’ll fall back asleep, but most times he’ll end up on the boob again for more nipple nectar.

Arro will start making his Grudge noises while his eyes are still closed. It’s his body’s way of getting ready to get up.

Wake up and do it all over again.

In conclusion

It’s a lot of work, patience and learning but after knowing what it’s like to be a parent, I wouldn’t have it any other way.

And I wouldn’t be enjoying the journey as much without you, Alex. Thanks for being the best momma to Arro and the best set of lips I get to call my partner.

End of story,