Couples that pray together, stay together
Statistic say that ~50% of marriages end in divorce. ~26% of couples who go to church together end in divorce. And 1/1,500 of marriages where couples pray together end in divorce.
Think about those stats. Stats aren’t predictors, but they are trend recognizers. Think about these numbers, it makes you wonder “what is the key?” 1/1,500! That’s 0.006%; that’s a huge difference from 26%-50%.
I am no expert in marriage, love, relationships or faith; I am only a fan of it all. I am a fan, an amateur and practitioner, experimenting on how to create a great marriage, love deeply and intimately, creating a beautiful, strong relationship, built on faith and strengthened through prayer.
“Successful communication takes intention and attention”
The act and practice of praying is a beautiful thing, yet it can also be very intimidating to some, especially when you’re praying out-loud or in front of others.
When you pray, you’re either praising and thanking God for blessings he’s given you, and blessings he’s brought you & people you feel for. Or you’re surrendering, being vulnerable and asking God for his mercy and his help with battles you’re are facing.
Either type of prayer done together will bring people together in my opinion. Some prayers may be easier than others, but imagine expressing these thoughts, feelings, fears, pain, wins and losses, and gratitude together with your spouse on an everyday basis? Think about what that does to a relationship. That creates a new level of trust, of intimacy, of faith. That’s a guide for the team. This constant act of praying throughout life’s volatile times becomes a place of safety, a pace to retreat to and a place of comfort for couples. That prayer time together becomes home for the couple and their marriage.
It doesn’t matter what’s going on outside, because inside we’re stable, we’re together with each other and with God most importantly. Talking and meditating on his consul. Listening to each other’s deepest feelings, that’s powerful. We’re together in every sense of the word.
It becomes the couple’s and the relationship’s secret weapon. As a couple the thought then becomes; “We don’t know what to do, we don’t always have the answers, we fight, we get hurt, we think of going our separate ways, we have financial issues, we have insecurities, we have power battles & struggles, along with fears that get trigger by one another and it sends us into certain modes and actions that we don’t like or aren’t proud of. We aren’t perfect, but no matter what, we know how to turn on & use our GPS to guide us to our ultimate destination together. That guidance is activated through our prayers together. We know how to get through any situation by coming together and praying”.
These prayers guide us to learn & understand what we don’t know and understand pieces of the puzzle that we can’t figure out on our own. It reminds us, we can’t do it by ourselves. We can’t do it individually nor as a couple, we do it together with God. We do it with our faith.
Finding a way to practice praying together consistently brings two spiritual people together. It gets you both past the worldly distractions and helps clarify your vision enabling you to see the important values and necessary attributes in order for you to love & grow on this planet Earth.
When you think of a couple building this habit, this way of living together, consistently over years, I can’t help but think “Well no wonder only 0.006% of couples would divorce when they have this lifestyle”.
No matter what your circumstances are, you have a method you can apply to get through it. It fits all situations. It takes 2 people to do this together in the couple. It will not work with one individual. This is a couple thing! No matter the circumstance, we pray and we pray together.
So, whether new to marriage, married for decades, engaged, on the brink of a divorce, going through a divorce; I don’t know your specific situation; However, wherever you are, if you want to build a better relationship together, I guarantee constant, sincere prayers together will work miracles in your relationship. It transforms lives.
“The benefits outweigh the discomfort”
When it comes to praying together, rebuilding relationships, one thought to keep in mind is, “The benefits outweigh the discomfort”. Some may think “what discomfort may come from payer?”. I’ve worked with people whom I’ve expressed how important, powerful and helpful it will be for them to pray together with their spouse, they agree. Yet, the fear of being criticized, judged and ultimately the fear of being vulnerable in their prayers together (that’s praying out loud, letting your spouse hear your deepest fears, insecurities, anxieties, worries) makes one feel uncomfortable. There’s no denying that is it uncomfortable. It’s also no place for me to tell you, “you shouldn’t feel that way”; you simply do feel that way and that’s ok.
I want to just remind you, “The benefits outweigh the discomfort”. If you want to stay together, pray together.
Ellison, C. G., Burdette, A. M. and Bradford Wilcox, W. (2010), The Couple That Prays Together: Race and Ethnicity, Religion, and Relationship Quality Among Working‐Age Adults. Journal of Marriage and Family, 72: 963–975. doi:10.1111/j.1741–3737.2010.00742.x
