Xtremecane. I am a Disabled Designer who brings years of #disabled experiences in Designing for Disability. I present a lifestyle cane prototype for the untapped market of Extreme Cane Athletics. This design is not a medical device, it’s intention is as a lifestyle walking stick, a cane loco-motivation, with disability and fashion in mind. I’m not alone in this quest to offset expectations of what it means to move about this city, the urban landscape of New York City. Pedestrians recognize the nuances of walking in the Big Apple. Disabled perspectives, are heightened awareness of obstacles to move about, and…

Bumble bee

Bumble bee

Bumble bee fresh

Birds in the Chestnut tree

Up in their nests

Bumble bee bumble bee bumble bee


Birds in the Chestnut tree starting to sing

Songs of my family, neighbors and friends

Bumble bee bumble bee fight till the end

Not free like a butterfly Muhammad Ali

Fast on his punches that as fist lands stings like a bee. Holding on to the ropes with his hands as best as he can

Ref called the knockout a TKO as Fraiser fell to his knees stung by a zillion bumble bees made him humble that…

The Resilience (excerpt from the full poem) Anthony Ptak, 2020. “Resilience. Yes I know what you’re expecting from me, brilliance, framed so poetical, methods employed in experiences acoustically sibilance sublime silence music not citric or lime, fear that we have limited time. I’m in the process of freestyle rhythm, not reason, I’m long past that season of our discontent, hospitable journey upon the gurney, dear warden, incontinence your burden, is forbearance, illicitly ignorance has given no witness to the protocols litmus, a listless tryptic, that tricks it, in flipping from bed sores, and depletion of oxygen wars, albeit deficit of…

Good Rid the Con-vid 19 Rona.

I wash my hands like a surgeon, stockpiling cans of beans kitchen counter is wiped clean a can of sardines and of sturgeon. I’m running from this virus virulent purging, got no time for the ‘rona, I got salty, harassed a pigeon. Rang rummm ugh masked man running up on ya, isolation not gonna warn you. I’m not gonna I’m sure it’s on, it’s not me NYC not the problem, but I’m not a surgeon, alive yeah, survivor is thriving yes I’m going back to the bin diving in fountain of fortune, 15 blocks…

The Wreckage by Anthony Ptak, October 2018.

You’re not smart enough to handle this train wreck, not because I’m the conductor of this orchestration, I am the impediment to you’re ill-willed sentiment, in spite of it, because I am so wrecked. Despite all of it. I exit stage left in frustration. Yours, not mine, because you refuse to pay, pause and be patient. With me, this train has long left the stations of the cross we must bear as we grin at this consequence. Form follows function in my disfunction, I lose confidence, then I remember it isn’t causation that…

Rare Birds. Recently I was at Gilda’s Club NYC and waiting in the lobby for my Aikido Sensei and then I saw one of the members I vaguely recognized, as J_. Hi J_ you’re looking bright today, I haven’t seen you in a while. (we had attended a regular writing workshop within the last year or so). “How are you doing? It’s good you’re here.” I hesitated as she struggled to find words, which I know is not unusual for J_ because I happened to know that she is a rare bird indeed. And I assured her, “No worries we’ll…

The Art of Walking with a Cane is controlled falling. Opening the door in order to close it. Not falling back, you’re just not moving forward. Repeat. Mantra. As I move forward with my gait, I create. I saw the flick of a wrist up ahead and the spark of a cigarette being lit by a woman too young for death; and a tourist in ill formed clothes awkward stance blocking the sidewalk like a boulder in my path. A woman at the corner is stopped studying me. Do I know her? Should I remember her? Perhaps but from what…

That house was home. In Urbana Illinois we purchased a house. It was a midcentury modern home, a ranch with a flat roof with the slightest of angles, a breezeway with a concrete slab base, two car garage and looking from the entryway of the culdesac you could immediately appreciate the flatness perspective, like a neatly folded piece of stationary paper that revealed it’s third dimension as you approach the driveway ewalk up the angled path to the front screen door and enter the maple door into the hall kitchen off to the left with the pocket door and stainless…

The Intimacy of Care and it’s Discontents. By Anthony Ptak 2018.

There is nothing universal about this experience, though I imagine I’m not the only one to have had these experiences. I don’t know that I’ll ever publish this, but I might if I find it serves others to gain knowledge in the navigation of the complexities of the terminally ill and the caregivers including medical professionals and families, social advocacy workers and the like.

I’ll begin with some background, even though I’d much prefer not to, context is everything and I’d be remiss for not providing the backstory of…

Anthony Ptak

Artist, composer, new media, interaction design. Brain cancer survivor.

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