Human’s capacity for giving our full attention to one another at all times is impossible.
I have come to the realization that no one can appreciate your thoughts, your feelings, and your struggles just as much as you do.
In this world, you must be careful about who you choose to share your information with, but more importantly, what you choose to share.
The secrets that hold dear to you, will not be dear to someone else in a similar manner.
Be it a best friend, a cousin, or a sibling.
I imagine, the only exception would be a parent, who is responsible and has no other choice but care for you.
However, we most likely wouldn’t discuss secrets, or even anything remotely close, to our parents.
To the ones who love you unconditionally.
Who will always be there no matter what.
It’s a shame, but it’s the truth.
So perhaps parents, or more specifically, your mother.
No love can amount to what a mother has for their child.
But I have realized that telling someone what your going through, or just simply sharing your thoughts in order to get them to relate, almost always ends up in disappointment.
They start to show some empathy, intentionally of course, but not always.
Sometimes, instead of being there emotionally, they tend to quickly give you some sort of solution.
Treating it as if it’s math problem.
Other times they react in a way that isn’t very compassionate.
Whether that be a soft “yeah” while they’re thinking of something else,
Or a silent pause right before they change the subject as if what you just said completely flew over their heads.
In one ear and out the other.
They switch the conversation to something completely irrelevant, not always on purpose, but randomly.
But you continue to let them because you don’t want to repeat what you said and sound desperate in need for their attention,
While simultaneously glad that they didn’t hear it, knowing that it wouldn’t have been appreciated greatly anyhow.
Telling someone your family problems for instance.
That “friend” will never be thinking about your sibling or family struggle as much as you are.
They will not appreciate it as much.
Therefore, maybe they don’t deserve to hear about it.
If it only puts you in discomfort.
Sure, there may be a time where they casually ask about your situation once in a while,
But they have their own lives to live, their own feelings to care for.
And someone they need to talk to.
Because you see it goes both ways.
Whatever they have told you…
You reacted in the same way.
You won’t appreciate their story as much as they do.
The story that they have shared with you, just before you started to eagerly tell yours, has almost left your mind completely. Then later you wonder why they don’t feel as empathetic as you thought they would be.
It’s not about keeping your secrets and thoughts to yourself.
It’s about understanding that we are all going through our own difficult journey in life and we should not put any emotional responsibility on others to care for us.
Let’s analyze, what might happen if you’re in a relationship.
If that person lives with you, you have all the time in the day to share with one another.
Depending on the individual, they will most likely have more sympathy.
But that can change, because not all relationships last.
If it does last, then you would have to care for that individual’s feelings, just as you would like them to do the same.
Maybe the favor of listening will only be given when one feels as though they have a reason to care.
Otherwise, it’s just a game of whose life story is worse.
Whose family is more dysfunctional.
Whose work is more difficult.
Who has it the hardest.
And to answer that…
Edited : 11/23–11/24/17