Digital Corner Chronicles #003: Healthier Approach to Competition
Hey there, welcome back!
Today I want to dig into a topic that has been a significant part of my journey: competition. It’s something I know well from my education and early career. Over time, I’ve had to learn how to navigate it in ways that support my mental well-being.
My Education in Türkiye
Growing up, I was a straight-A student, driven to excel and earn a full scholarship through the rigorous university entrance exam. The competition was ingrained in every step. I saw people lose themselves in this environment — like not sharing information because they feared a classmate might score higher on the exam.
It was intense, and while I knew how to succeed, I realized that constantly competing wasn’t fulfilling or fun.
Choosing to attend a private university opened my eyes to different types of intelligence. I encountered peers who excelled not only academically but also emotionally, possessing what we might call EQ. Many had the time — or perhaps the “luxury” — to explore their interests, pursue unique hobbies, or develop a deeper self-awareness.
This was initially harsh for me to process, as I had always focused on the academic race, and maybe academics were the only thing I was good at (my first term GPA was 3.7/4). I chose to learn and grow rather than feel threatened by these differences.
Cultivating a Healthier Perspective
Even with this realization, I’m no saint. I sometimes catch myself having negative thoughts about others. I’ve learned not to feed these thoughts. Instead, I’ve made it a rule: if I can’t say something positive about someone when they’re not in the room, I don’t say anything at all. It’s a simple practice that keeps my interactions constructive and helps me stay focused on my growth.
Is it all bad? Looking back, I recognize that my drive helped me achieve many goals. The ambition and drive to do well were crucial in shaping my journey and understanding what I wanted from life. I’m grateful for the privilege of stepping away from constant competition.
It wasn’t wrong — it just wasn’t complete. The real growth came from learning to balance that drive with self-compassion and genuine appreciation for others’ successes.
Observations from the Creative World
I’ve noticed how competition manifests differently in various areas and phases of life, from education to creative work. I’ve seen people feel their ideas were “stolen” because of similarities. While it’s understandable, this mindset rarely helps.
Someone else’s success doesn’t diminish your potential; it expands what’s possible for everyone.
Instead of feeling threatened, I suggest using these moments as inspiration to keep experimenting.
How to Stay Grounded
This mindset didn’t happen overnight. I’m not here to give prescriptive advice, I can share what has helped me:
- Self-Awareness: Acknowledge your feelings, but don’t let them control you
- Conscious Effort: Actively work on shifting your mindset from competition to personal growth
- Healthy Inspiration: Use others’ success as a catalyst for your own experiments
I also recommend two books that have influenced my thinking:
- The Upward Spiral for understanding mental well-being (Thanks for the suggestion Don!)
In his book, neuroscientist Alex Korb explains how small, consistent actions can reshape our brain’s response to stress and other challenges. By engaging in positive habits — like regular exercise, practicing gratitude, and fostering social connections — we can initiate what he calls an “upward spiral,” rewiring our neural pathways for the better. - The Four Agreements for personal growth (Thanks for the suggestion Ibe!)
Don Miguel Ruiz’s second agreement, “Don’t Take Anything Personally,” fundamentally changed how I approach interactions. It teaches that most people’s actions and words are reflections of their own perceptions and realities, not judgments of my worth.
The Luxury of Offline Time
Lately, I’ve been swimming three times a week, and it has become an essential part of maintaining my mental balance. There’s something special about doing a sport that doesn’t involve a team — like swimming or running. It’s a dedicated, offline time where I can be alone with my inner thoughts and reconnect with my body. This kind of personal time is a luxury in today’s world, and I think it’s worth finding ways to experience it.
The real competition isn’t with others — it’s with the person you were yesterday, and even that should be approached with kindness.
Ultimately, it’s about taking small steps and making conscious choices to improve. If this resonates with you, I’d love to hear your thoughts.
If these ideas resonate and you’re looking for personalized support, let’s connect and explore how we can work together. I genuinely enjoy helping others on their personal and professional growth journeys.
Ayça Turan
ayca.tech
