The Unbelievable Tale of Ethiopian Airlines Flight 961: A Comedy of Hijinks and Misunderstandings| Super Scary Plane Landings.
Once upon a time, in a sky not so far away, an Ethiopian Airlines Boeing 767–200ER embarked on a journey that would leave you questioning whether it was a real-life story or a script from a comedic movie. This is the story of Flight 961, a flight that took “lost in translation” to a whole new level.
Picture this: a sunny day, a plane filled with passengers, and three aspiring comedians armed with an axe and a fire extinguisher — that’s right, the perfect ingredients for a stand-up routine, or so they thought.
As the flight took off from Addis Ababa en route to Nairobi, three Ethiopian men decided it was time for their big break. Charging into the cockpit armed with the most fearsome weapons they could find — an axe and a fire extinguisher (because what better way to hijack a plane than with a fire-fighting device, right?) — they made their demands. What were those demands, you ask? They wanted to be flown to Australia. Apparently, they missed the memo that planes need fuel to fly long distances, and they weren’t exactly equipped for a non-stop flight to the Land Down Under.
But hey, the aspiring hijackers were nothing if not persistent. When the pilot kindly explained that they barely had enough fuel to make it to the nearest McDonald’s, let alone Australia, the hijackers weren’t having any of it. They pointed to a line in the in-flight magazine that declared the Boeing 767’s maximum flying time was 11 hours. Clearly, they were ready to push the plane to its limits, completely ignoring the fact that planes need more than just optimistic reading material to stay airborne.
Captain Leul, however, had different plans. Instead of heading straight for Australia, he decided to take a scenic route along the African coastline. The hijackers, thinking they were clever navigators, realized they were still within sight of land and demanded the plane be steered eastward. You can imagine Captain Leul’s internal facepalm as he followed their misguided instructions.
At this point, the situation was more like a comedy of errors than a hijacking. With the fuel gauge dropping faster than the hijackers’ IQ points, Captain Leul tried to make a diplomatic landing at the Comoros Islands. Unfortunately, the hijackers were less interested in smooth landings and more interested in a dramatic finale. Just as the plane’s engines were giving up the ghost, the lead hijacker decided to make his dramatic exit, knocking the pilot’s microphone out of his hand as he did so.
As the plane began its descent, the captain made an announcement that would’ve made even the grumpiest flight attendant crack a smile: “Ladies and gentlemen, we have run out of fuel and are losing one engine at this time, and we are expecting a crash landing. That is all I have to say.” Talk about delivering bad news with a dose of humor.
The plane’s engines went out, and the aircraft began its glide towards the ocean. The pilot and hijackers engaged in a debate that Shakespeare would have been proud of, with lines like “Descend it, increase the speed further,” and “It doesn’t have any difference. PLEASE. All the same. We are going to die.” A true masterclass in misunderstanding each other, even in life-threatening situations.
Finally, with the grace of a clumsy seagull crash-landing into a beach volleyball game, the plane hit the water. Chaos ensued as passengers inflated their life jackets prematurely, effectively turning themselves into oversized human beach balls trapped in a sinking plane.
Miraculously, the island residents, tourists, and a band of scuba divers (because why not?) came to the rescue. The whole scene must have looked like a chaotic episode of “Baywatch,” complete with flailing arms and life jackets inflated at the wrong time.
In the end, Ethiopian Airlines Flight 961 gave us a tale that would leave even the most imaginative comedy writers scratching their heads. From misguided hijackers armed with questionable weapons to a pilot trying to deliver a punchline with a deadpan announcement, this flight’s story is the epitome of “you can’t make this stuff up.” It’s a lesson in the importance of reading the fine print in in-flight magazines and a reminder that when life hands you lemons, you might just end up in the Indian Ocean with an axe and a fire extinguisher.
