What Feminism Is Not For Me

Maybe you have been “told” by others what feminism means for you, individually, or maybe you’ve “seen” some short-lived video of what feminism means for both women and men today. But how is that going to make any difference if you’re still fastened to the mediocre remarks made by both men and women, especially youngsters, about how women MUST be treated equally and how they MUST be looked at differently in the eyes of men, and even society.

Given today’s influence of social media among Facebook or Instagram scrollers, feminism has become a kind of temperament for some women rather than a strong mindset. It has become a weapon for some, while it remains a wave of embarrassing confusion or assumptions for some who are ignorant enough to make up their own “idea” of feminists and debunk the entire realistic concept of it.

Suppression of a concept such as sexism or the mere slaughtering of it by means of completely untrue and contradictory feministic terms is disgusting and frankly, discomforting. We have been told what feminism is, but when do we learn about the truths that don’t make feminism. What feminism isn’t is something that I haven’t been exposed to, if I were to compare it against the versatile articles I’ve come across written by feminists about what feminism is for every human, on an individual level.

If you’re reading this, I request you to make a quick list of what feminism is not, for you and why. This should be done, obviously, after you know the transparency of the concept and its concise definition that frames the society.

WHAT FEMINISM IS NOT FOR ME

  1. It is not ignoring the way men are treated in society:
    We have heard this chant a lot. People think that being a feminist means that you disregard male oppression and only focus on female abuse and issues circling around it. For me, feminism is not just talking about prostitution or rape in the eyes of how women are abused and tortured. When I speak about important and worldly issues that involve the use of bodies as acts of suppression or exploitation, I refer to all men and women. Yes, a majority of them are women, but supporting only one side of the argument means that you don’t care enough about the global consequence of the matter, rather you’re being sexist yourself.
  2. It is not hating men. 
    Feminism doesn’t mean hating men. That’s called misandrists. Instead, if we focused on equality of all genders rather than equality of women, we know what’s going on and why. Misandrists hate all men. It is a term like misogynist, but for hating men instead of women. And frankly, as a feminist, hate is a strong word because what good are you doing by hating somebody for what they believe in when feminism is about changing the way people think in the society by means of action and reaction. Women are beautiful when they’re angry, but don’t do it for the wrong reasons.
  3. It is not blaming every man with a “dick” because of certain deceiving men.
    If you think all men want to get into your pants, you’re wrong. But if you only meet men who want to get into your pants, I believe you. But how would you feel if you meet a man who thinks all women are emotionally overpowered just because he met only such? Categorizing the entire human race on a bunch of good-for-nothings, then you truly don’t believe in anything.
  4. It is not making it a “woman’s world”. 
    I’m so sick of hearing this. When women get offended by “It’s A Man’s World”, how is that any different when they say that it’s time to make it into a “Woman’s World” through feminism. I thought you were a feminist, not an extremist. What matters the most when you filter the concept of feminism to its absolute definition, is that it is about gender equality and not gender dominance. Don’t make the fact that you’re a woman a weapon to impose upon men everywhere.
  5. It is not about being physically violent with men just because they’re women. 
    You want gender equality or do you want men to obey you? We see this now more than ever. Women want to be excused whenever they hit a man. Why? Because we’re women and hitting us would mean sexism. All I’m trying to say is that if we want to be treated equally then we should be willing to accept the entire picture. We won’t let women get away with hitting men in the name of feminism because that’s not what this is all about. For this point, I must say that feminism is discouraging one human to hit another, regardless of their gender.
  6. It is not about showing your bra strap. 
    Saying that public display of any kind of clothing is a sure-fire act of feminism, at least in some cases, is disgusting. Both men and women are mouthed off about the kind of clothes they wear. When men wear extremely short shorts, aren’t they laughed at or told that they should wear something more mannerly? It’s the fashion that certain people want to suppress, not sexism. It’s a perception, not a concept. Don’t make something as little as showing your bra strap in public a matter of feminism because it would only make sense if men, too, wore bras and they were not questioned for showing the strap in public.
  7. It is not about perceiving women who do not want to work as being sexists.
    I do want women to work and become independent, but that’s not something that I would express in the name of feminism. Telling women that it’s unacceptable to become a housewife or mother, just because you might not want those things, is ridiculous. Do not label that as being a feminist in any aspect.
  8. It is not about male restriction. 
    I know a few women who have been subjected to social or financial restrictions by the men in their lives. Some women do that too, mainly mothers or sisters, but mostly it’s a man who imposes restrictions upon a woman on matters of dressing, social interaction, work life, etc. That doesn’t mean feminist get to impose those same restrictions on men just to prove that they’re equal. The feminist path is to change the perception of having no restrictions at all on another human being, man or woman.

These are just the basic and, most often, misunderstood definitions of feminism. Frankly, feminism is a life-changing and revolutionary idea, something that both men and women have to encourage and promote in their lives, but some pillars have been disgracefully manipulated by those pretending to support it in a way that it benefits their individual convenience and comfort.

Being a feminist is hard for every woman because it calls for equality, not dominance. Being a dominant soul is an effortless act, and it doesn’t require courage or intelligence. It calls for insecurity or extremism. Don’t be a dominant soul and learn to be open to gender equality.

If tomorrow you’re riding the bus to work, don’t feel insulted if a man doesn’t willingly get up to let you sit on his seat. You don’t own that seat and unless you’re physically disabled, you shouldn’t be sitting on it just because you’re a feminist.