MALADAPTIVE DAYDREAMING
Anna was at it again. She perceived this as her world. Everyone considered her the creepy weirdo whose signature look was always a hoodie on every single time she walked in class. She didn’t know about this, how could she anyway, when she was always stuck in her thoughts, rarely talking to people unless it’s on call or the urgency dictated so.
“Maladaptive daydreaming!” Professor Wynberg decided to have some breather and wrote that on the whiteboard. As it is, he was speaking to himself with a couple of students obeying the law of gravity but oddly defying it.
“Anyone with an idea of what it is?” he proceeded.
“I guess it’s over-daydreaming or falsely adapting to daydreams. In consideration to the maladaptive bit,” one good student shot up.
“A round of applause for our human dictionary here,” smirked the professor.
The discussion went on for a while before the professor resumed his lecture. At least everyone had been drawn back to reality. Well, everyone except Anna. However, for the first time in 1 month, she actually got wind of what was being said, the daydreaming. ‘I mean, that’s normal,’ she chuckled in her thoughts. ‘Or is it?’
Immediately the lecture was done, she fled the hall and proceeded to the library which wasn’t unusual. To some, they considered this her studying method, assumingly saying she preferred concrete sources like books and the internet rather than relying on a fellow student. Yet to others, it was a way of avoiding contacts with anyone outside her head reason being her flunking results which was questioning her studies.
‘Hello there Mr. Google,’ she said and proceeded to type daydreaming. Her search history made it easier for her to falling in the same trap she had been for one month. They ranged from ‘is daydreaming normal’ to ‘advantages of daydreaming.’ All these justified her actions and she never felt wayward about it. As a matter of fact, she had the arguments with people on such issues, using scientific claims and sounding all wise. Thing is, she was arguing with characters in her head. Her focus on one side of the coin was becoming worrying to one character on her head and she knew she had to shut her down.
‘What was it that he said? Had something to do with mal. Let’s see (*typing*) malabrasive daydreaming,’
Google results; did you mean maladaptive daydreaming?
She clicked onto Wikipedia, her most trusted source of information and read through it;
Maladaptive daydreaming/ excessive daydreaming is a proposed diagnosis of a disordered form of dissociative absorption associated with excessive fantasy. It can result in distress, can replace human interaction and may interfere with normal functioning such as social life or work.
“Google has made a fool out of itself again.
•It’s a PROPOSED diagnosis. I can wake up tomorrow and decide that there’s a disorder associated with eating breakfast.
•Not in distress, I am the definition of normal.
•I don’t work and clearly people need to be educated on introversion.
Problem solved!” Poor Anna.
She was about to drift back into her magical wonderland when something caught her attention: the causes maladaptive daydreaming according to the swaddle.com.
Experts believe that MD is, generally, a coping mechanism in response to trauma, abuse or loneliness that leads the maladaptive daydreamer to conjure a complex imaginary world for them to escape into in times of distress, loneliness, or maybe, even helplessness in real life. It’s an escapist method of avoiding real interactions with families, friends or colleagues.
She suddenly had a flashback of what happened precisely 1 month and 2 days ago. Till now, it haunted her being. She had daydreamt over and over again of a day she goes back in time and make things different. And by different, she meant emerging as the hero and not the antagonist of the whole mess. The thought of it made her hate herself more and she preferred not talking about it to a single soul. Anna just couldn’t stand judgements.
With a pen and notebook, she proceeded to draw a line on the plain sheet. On one side, she had the heading, SYMPTOMS OF MD and filled the other headline with, ACCESSING THE PRACTICALITY.
~Content and quality (detail) of dreams.
Totally agree. From the start to the end with small commercial breaks.
~Individual’s ability to control their dreams and/or the compulsion to dream.
I wish I knew how
~Amount of distress caused by daydreaming
Depending on the type of daydreaming I’ve planned out on that day
~Individual’s perceived benefits of daydreaming
Google supports it too SOOO…
~Extent of interference of daydreaming with the individual’s ability to carry out their daily activities.
Let me see;
•Classes are becoming difficult, I think they’re just boring.
•I stopped my morning jogs and afternoon walks because I prefer lying in bed.
•When was the last time I called home?
•It actually feels like I’ve done a lot of things in my head, more than my real life.
~PACING
I could have been doing that now, the library is limiting my movement.
~Being genuinely upset/happy/angry about things that happen in your daydreams and pulling weird facial expressions while daydreaming.
This explains the stares. Can’t a woman have feelings and emotions? It’s not really abnormal to get soggy when your favorite mind character dies or is hurt.
~Constantly muttering things under your breath.
Some lecturer almost kicked me out of class yesterday saying I need a pastor’s intervention. That I talk to myself a lot. Wouldn’t be the first time though.
“Seems like I need help after all. Damn, I hate when Bella’s right.”
Bella was…pardon-moi, used to be her best friend before she left sith Anna’s behavior was becoming unbearable to her. Luckily for her, Bella would check in once in a while to see how she’s faring. This was one of those God sent miraculous days since Bella decided to text her. Asking the same question, expecting the same answer.
‘Hey Anna. Are you okay?’
‘Hey. No, I’m not. Can we meet up, for some talk? Please.’
To Bella, it was a surprise. To Anna, a relief. If she couldn’t change her history, at least she could try and rewrite her wrongs.
