What Moving To A New City Taught Me About Alone Time

A friend recently asked me “how has the west been treating you?” I answered “great surprisingly, it’s treating me like Family. San Fransisco feels like home.”
Home? How could that be? If it feels like home then why did the question bring a tear to my eye?
My inner wisdom already had a pre-defined answer. It’s incredibly scary to start a new life in a new city and not know where it’s leading you. These bittersweet moments of being on my own, could’ve made me feel the loneliest, started feeling beautiful. Something happens inside of you when you’re taken out of your comfort zone which might not happen if you’re surrounded by the loving guidance of so many people back home. Starting a life in this new city brings new perspectives about what “home” actually is and these all start with alone time. Being on your own lends you several opportunities:
Soul searching
You get to learn about what you like, what you don’t like, what your boundaries are, what you won’t tolerate in other people, what you value most, what makes you happiest, what drives you, what your vision for the rest of your life is. You get to do so much reorganizing of your internal life that by the time this new city feels like it’s yours, you will be completely and utterly ready to be your true self because you have done so much learning about who you are. This is one of the beauties of alone time in general and one that holding a meditation practice has allowed me to delve deeper into. There’s nothing better than having internal clarity which allows you to know what you want for your life.
“Discovering who you are today is the first step
to becoming who you will be tomorrow.”
Reshaping your life
You get to COMPLETELY revamp your lifestyle the way you have always imagined it. Being alone, there’s very little outside influence to tell you what to do and how to do things. This means you get to shape your entire days in a way you may have never realized you had the power to do. All the things that are important to keep a human being, well, healthy like nutrition, exercise, mental stimulation, psychological stability, entertainment, relationships and work, you get to choose when and how you do them. Take those yoga, paint, or meditation classes you’ve always wanted to take. Re-think the kinds of people you want to be surrounded by and seek out opportunities to meet those kinds of people. Want to meet more entrepreneurial spirits? Go to events about the subject. Want to have more nature lovers in your circle? There are plenty of open hiker groups out there. The kinds of people you want in your life are out there. You just got to meet them where they are.
“Never be afraid to start over. It is a chance to
rebuild your life the way you wanted all along.”
Out of your comfort-zone
Being alone isn’t at all the most comfortable thing to do at first, especially when you are already in a new place and being with a friend for company would really make that new city, country or place more interesting and exciting because you get to explore together. But doing all of those things on your own when you’re not used to dong so is incredibly hard. With a growth mindset however, you’ll quickly see the opportunity in this challenge. Being out of your comfort zone will show you a whole new side of yourself. You’ll see how strong you really are.
“A comfort zone is beautiful thing
but nothing ever grows there.”
The meaning of self-love
Being on your own. It gives you time to look at the darkest parts of yourself & decide that you’re going to give that side the attention it deserves. You begin to give purpose to it’s existence. You’re alone with your thoughts, memories of past mistakes & past hurt long enough to realize they’re conspiring to build a strong foundation. You get to decide to accept & love the hidden parts of yourself. Being on your own lends it’s self to increased self-awareness. Spending time with yourself and finding out what brings you joy. It’s about going doing the things you like such as trying your favorite food alone, grabbing a glass of wine alone, going for that walk in the park alone and being completely content in your own company. Be happy now and enjoy the world now & the right people will come along.
“As I began to love myself, my
relationship with everyone changed.”
Following your dreams
You have the time and you have the space. Ive read about and studied some amazingly successful people I look up to like: michelle phan, Tony Robbins, Elizabeth Gilbert for example. The times where they have felt the most alone or when they were all by themselves for whatever reason, starting at a new school, leaving their home & being on their own has led them exponential growth and becoming totally newer and stronger people. They were able to start a hobby or get a job that kept them occupied and continually building. These hobbies and jobs ultimately turned out to be their biggest strengths and they created an empire around what they started when they were all alone.
“Go confidently in the direction of your
dreams. Live the life you have imagined.”
After coming to these realizations I sat back and thought to myself: WHOA. It’s not that San Fransisco feels like home. It’s that I (me, myself and I) have been my own home all along. Through the journey of self discovery I have been on these past four months, it’s become obvious that any where I go in the world, I will always be home. I am home. (How’s that for the beginning of an existential crisis?!) The reality is that I am touched by my own process of transformation and it all started with being okay being on my own and turning inward for a while.