Fasusi Ayobami
Nov 1 · 3 min read

I woke up this morning with an indescribable feeling, not because it is my birth month, but I did a quick assessment of the past months and my emotions were all over the place.

I had to ease the burden in my usual way of letting off steam.

Gratitude. Resentment. Joy. Strength. Hope.

Gratitude!

Grateful for a place to call home and family to return to every day.

For my job, though sensitive and challenging but I never collapse o! Glory to Jah! I dey use weyrey to port it every single day like Yinka would always say. I really underestimated my job description but you know, Aluta continua! We move!!

Grateful for the insanely creative people that life placed on my path. Awesome people that set me on my toes daily and challenge me to be a better version of myself.

Angels that have seen me at my lowest and did not judge me but extended open arms of warm embrace that calms my restless heart every single time.

Good friends that do not hesitate to connect me to great opportunities at every chance they get. I owe you a lot!

Grateful for a renewed sense of purpose and aspirations that are imprinted on the walls of my mind and burning at the table of my heart.

Resentment.

Ah! I’ve made mistakes. Horrible ones.

Some are excusable and the others, I made them with my eyes open! Sometimes, I cringe when those memories replay in my mind.

I constantly remind myself that I cannot undo those mistakes but can avoid repetition.

The words left unsaid.

The wrong alliances formed.

The words said that were not meant to be.

The slips.

The fails.

The last-minute hesitation and cold feet.

The naivety.

Joy!!!

Leaps and high jumps.

Small wins.

Little acts of kindness.

Good decisions made.

Unbroken trust.

Promises delivered.

The truth that was spoken in the face of danger.

Deadlines met.

Good advice heeded.

Strength!

To make tough decisions even when a lot was at stake.

To push further when situations were showing the red flag.

To love.

To be calm in be heated situations.

To show care in little ways.

To forgive.

Above all, to let go.

Hope!

That tomorrow will be better because we are working on it today.

That wishes won’t be horses but oysters so the waves can wash them ashore to lay at our feet.

Of new beginnings. Forgetting things that are past and pressing forward with faith.

That expectations will not be cut short and we will see our plans through without dropping the ball.

Hope to hang on when falling off the cliff seems to be the easy way out.

I’ll be a year older on the 15th of November and I’m looking forward to my dad’s prayers, the start of a new year and all the love I can get.

Most importantly, all the love I can give.

Fasusi Ayobami

Written by

Writer|| Comic actress || Foodie

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