Children’s Privacy in the Endlessly Scrolling World

Ayunda Meitida
Aug 22, 2017 · 6 min read

If you log in to one of your social media accounts, you will likely find baby photos and baby-related updates from your idols, colleagues, close friends, old friends whom you don’t talk to in 15 years, friends who only know your name because you studied in the same school, or strangers whom you follow just because you assume their lives are interesting.

In fact, it’s a phenomenon happened not only on your timeline, but also on everyone’s. According to the Pew Research Center, 75% of parents are on social media, while 74% of that number is on Facebook and 25% of that number is on Instagram. Furthermore, if you post one baby photo a week, it’s estimated that once your child reaching 5-year-old, there will be about 300 photos in your child’s digital footprint, assuming that there are photos uploaded by someone else other than you.

We all know that today is a completely different world. Years ago, your own baby photos were collected safely in private photo albums at your parents' home. While in this digital world, even a stranger in Seoul or Mexico whom you don’t know personally could see your baby’s face and know what he or she is doing if they have access, sometimes such access is granted by you as you checked the terms and conditions box. Oh. Don’t forget the screenshot feature in everyone’s smartphones.

A study by Sarah Schoppe-Sulivan, a professor of Human Sciences and Psychology at The Ohio State University also says that parents, particularly mothers, feel more societal pressure to be perfect and viewed parenthood as the central to their identity.

Some parents genuinely post a lot of baby photos because their babies are actually the center of their world. The newest, biggest part of their identity. The most important thing for them, top-priority. Thus, it’s understandable that nowadays baby photos appear almost in every social media platform.

On the other hand, social media could also be a free platfrom to support both expectation and validation that parents are fulfilling their parental role well. People judge the way you parent, you post how hard you try to be a good parent. People post their children can do this and that, you post that your children can do the same thing, sometimes such milestones are beyond other children’s. Pride. Ego. Insecurity is speaking at this point. You can read the complete coverage here.

Now it becomes complex. While some people feel fine their lives being exposed publicly, others feel more concerned about their privacy and safety. While some people feel the need to validate their parental role, others feel more reserved. It’s your personal choice afterall. But how about your children’s rights?

Children, or minors, are the most powerless group in the society. They completely depend on their guardians, usually parents, who have a full responsibility to provide what they need and protect them. Legally speaking, Article 16.1 of United Nations Convention on the Rights of the Child 1989 stating that:

"No child shall be subjected to arbitrary or unlawful interference with his or her privacy, family, home or correspondence, nor to unlawful attacks on his or her honour and reputation."

Now, what are we supposed to do?


Be thoughtful of your actions.

Have the forethought and understand your purpose.

Why do you need to post this? Why do you feel the audience needs to know that? Do you really want to share or do you want to validate your existence? Is your sharing really caring? Are you being natural in your posts or manipulative? Do you want to express or do you want others to portray you as a perfect, best parent on earth? Do you ask your child to pose merely for your Instagram contents? If they are a little bit older, do you ask their consent? Are you really being present or are you busy with your smartphones recording your child’s behaviour? Is it necessary?

So many questions only you can answer.

Take your children's mental health seriously.

Now imagine being exposed so publicly even since you were still a fetus in your mother’s womb. Imagine being known your likes and dislikes, your breakfast menu, your poop updates, your tantrum, your medical data. Or pressure you have in society because your parents claimed and told everybody that you were always bright and smart, perfect child. By the age children can fully understand all of these stuff, do you think they really want the world knows?

Facebook was launched in 2004. Hence, children whose baby photos once posted in those early years of Facebook now already become a teenager. They become more aware of themselves, they already can give their own consent, they now look for their own identity, their purpose of life, their true self. Do parents know best? Not always.

In Austria, there was a 18-year-old woman suing her parents for posting her photos while she was potty trained. You can see the coverage here. A significant journal by Valerie Steeves, an Associate Professor in the Department of Criminology at the University of Ottawa and an expert in the impact of technology on human rights, also reports that 89% of students thought it was wrong for a friend to post a bad and embarrassing picture of them while 54% of them thought friends should ask first before posting a picture of them.

So, there is a possibility that they might not be happy with each and everything you post about them, right?

Steeves also says that:

"There are early indications that the constant publicity children experience when parents overshare photos of them may potentially interfere with their own developmental needs later when, as teenagers, they seek to establish an identity apart from their role in the family.”

Consequently, it’s really that vital to consider your children’s feelings and the potential impact both in the present and in the future. You don’t want to sow unnecessary anxiety within your children, do you?

Set boundaries and respect others.

It’s clear that everyone has different personalities, so it’s essential for you to set your boundaries and be firm with your stance. It’s all about consent. If you are okay everyone sees your private life, then go ahead. But, if you are comfortable to share your private life with people whom you only trust, then set the friend list and privacy setting. Last, if you feel uncomfortable with any harmful possibility that may occure, just don’t post at all.

For all types of people, though many people I know usually skip this step, it’s still important to read the terms and conditions of each platform first. Just be respectable and protective with your own data, where your data will go and who can access your data, especially your children’s data. Children have unconditional trust towards their guardians which need to be kept.

Now you set yours, respect others. You want to post their children’s photos on your own timeline, ask their consent. Your social media friends are not always your friends' social media friends. Most importantly, not everyone feels the same as you feel. Not everyone has the same beliefs and thoughts as you do. Different people, different standards.

Know the consequences and take responsibility.

Stalking, paedophile, identity theft, kidnapping, bullying, harrassment, they are the real issues we all have to prevent. There is a saying that people would never clearly understand and ignore the danger until it actually happens to them. But, let’s throw away the ignorance. Whether it would happen to you or not, there is still possibility anyway and such risk should be mitigated.

Journal of Adolescent Health in 2010 reports that 82% of online sex crimes against minors, the offender used the victim’s social networking site to gain information about the victim’s likes and dislikes. Your children could be spied on and it’s creepy that any data you provide voluntarily can affect massively, right?

Therefore, it’s undebatable neccessary that you need to have filters before you post. The very basic ones are:

  • No nudity content; and
  • No personal information provided, e.g. home address, school/daycare/course address and schedule, passport and boarding pass details, holiday itinerary, medical data.

Some people also don’t post close up photos of their children or don’t post at all. You can follow this method if you want.

Last but not least, as parents, we need to teach our children to take care of themselves, to have autonomy of their own body and their own life, to respect their own rights, to have self-control. It can be started in a present you can give since the very start. A simple yet fundamental one: freedom. The less you provide personal data in their digital footprints, the more freedom they would have in the future.

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Ayunda Meitida

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In this life, I'm a student of all things.

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