The Matrix of Life

At the point of this writing, I can say that I am obsessed with The Matrix and many other science-fiction works that didn’t make sense to me. (Which is ironic, because I called myself a lover of sci-fi and attempted to write one myself, you can check my sci-fi called OSIRIS in this medium page)

The Sedona Method makes sci-fi movies that I don’t quite enjoy due to its complicated storyline, becomes more enjoyable. I remember back in 2014, I left the theater after watching Intestellar and thought to myself, “what the hell did I just watch?” The 5-dimensional being. The concept of time. Only after I was introduced to releasing, it all started to make sense.

I even cried on the epic scene where Cooper played by Matthew McConaughey browsed to the bookshelves in search for the perfect time and place to show Murph about his existence. I bursted out crying. 7 years ago, that didn’t seem to make sense to me.

I just love how science fiction is so creative in exploring the realm of life and interpreting what is Beingness/Awareness.

Now, it is the Matrix and I cannot wait for the 4th installment to be launched.

I found the new joke when I experience a bad day: the glitch in the Matrix.

It’s funny and irritating at the same time, now that you know how to release, you have a high expectation of yourself.

I expect myself to be cool-headed and all of my motivations towards my goals to be as clear as the sun. Right now, I still have a list of goals that I want to achieve. Although I know as the Awareness, I am not attached to any goal and I can survive just as I Am, but this body-mind always loves to take credit, especially when I feel like there is a setback, delay or failure. I just love to beat myself up.

Yesterday, I beat myself up. I felt so irritated and frustrated about my family situation and I ended up leaving the house. I was thinking to sleep somewhere else because I was so uncomfortable at home. With everything that was going on, I eventually cried. I felt so low and said to myself. “What the fuck is wrong with the matrix today?”

I know that I should not blame the Life, The Matrix and even myself. I just need to accept this as it is. It is just a bad day and it is OK to feel overwhelmed. No matter how much positive affirmations I give to myself, I should have been honest if I have let go of my wanting: wanting to control, to approve, to be safe nor to be one or separate.

I really wish that I am like Neo who can bend the nature of The Matrix and be the master of his world. I know I can do it. But as for now, I am just holding on to the idea until I satisfy and I’ll drop it…