Is Batman In Avengers: Infinity War?

Hi, I just watched the trailer for Avengers: Infinity War, and it looks awesome! Can’t wait to watch all of these superheroes together in one movie. I only had one question, since I didn’t see him in the footage: is Batman in the movie?

Are you kidding me? Is this a joke? Are you actually kidding me with this? Is this really the only question you have about Infinity War, because I cannot believe that you are still asking this question. I have been explaining, so very patiently, for years that Batman is a DC Comics character. Years. Decades, even. And yet, for some reason you all still ask the same question, over and over and over.

Is Batman in Avengers? No, he’s a DC character, and the Avengers are Marvel characters.

Is Batman in that Spider-Man movie? No, he’s DC, Spider-Man is Marvel.

What about Iron Man, is he a DC character? JFC, how many times do we need to have this conversation???

And then you always say, “sorry it’s so confusing, I can’t keep track of all these characters.”

Really? For real? It’s so complicated? Do you sometimes wonder whether Theresa May is Prime Minister of America? Do you walk into a Burger King and scratch your head, unsure why Chicken McNuggets aren’t on the menu? Did you go see Lady Bird and think “well this is set at a school, I hope Harry Potter shows up soon.”

And to answer your next question, no, Harry Potter is not in Avengers: Infinity War, you absolute jerk.

Ignoring for a second that these characters have been around for longer than most people reading this have been alive, you’ve had decades — decades! — of superhero movies to get a handle on which hero belongs to which company. There are logos at the top of the movies that say “Marvel” or “DC” and make it abundantly clear who goes where.

And how about those Marvel movies? I’ll grant you the rights thing is confusing — why aren’t the X-Men in Infinity War is a fair question — but you’ve had the opportunity to watch 10 years of movies, 18 total movies, hundreds of hours of television… And has anyone, even once, said “Let’s go to Gotham City and help Batman”?

No, you ignoramus. No.

Has anyone ever talked about billionaire Bruce Wayne as if he was a person who existed in that universe? Or The Joker, or Commissioner Gordon, or Poison Ivy, or Mr. Freeze, or The Penguin, or Bane, or any number of instantly recognizable characters? And in any of the fifteen thousand Batman movies that have been produced, have you ever seen him say “I wish Iron Man was here to help.”

OF COURSE NOT!!! THEY ARE COMPLETELY DIFFERENT COMPANIES THAT ARE TOTALLY SEPARATE FROM EACH OTHER. FOR TEN GODDAMN YEARS I HAVE PATIENTLY ANSWERED THIS QUESTION, BUT NOW I AM DONE. DONE, YOU HEAR ME? IF YOU CAN’T KEEP THIS STRAIGHT, IT IS YOUR OWN FAULT. YOU ARE BEING PURPOSEFULLY DUMB AND I WON’T LISTEN ANYMORE.

NO.

MORE.

Okay, but is Superman in Infinity War?

…Yeah, he shows up in the third act to save Iron Man.

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