I Love to Listen
Two types of personalities Introvert and Extrovert. An extrovert is more talk active, feel free to start the conversation with new people, easily engaged in discussion and relationship-oriented. On the other hand, Introvert is not jumped into gossip, faces difficulties to participate in the discussion and hesitant to take the initiative of conversation first. They always tried to find a comfort zone and don’t leave this corner. During this ongoing discussion, we are not debating about personality types and their merits and de-merits or traits, I just focused on how we make and influence people because social networking is the most essential skill in nowadays.
“We have two ears and one mouth, so we should listen more than we say.”
We are living Hi-Tech influenced era where people using all modern source of communication with others, not only in the country of origin but beyond the boundaries of their native countries. It’s only possible to development in social networking sites. Social networking sites are a hot issue and get popularity in a very short period of time. Making new friends is quite easy, just click on “Add Friend” or click on “Follow”, your request is accepted you can sent messages each other and conversation started, at any stage you get bored or both them only think interests are unmatched, just click on “Unfriend” or “Unfollow” and find new one and goes on. Despite the advantages of these social networking sites, their negative consequences are also disturbing our normal pattern of life, our social circles and create isolation or dreamy world.
I observed in different events and ceremonies people are sitting idle and silently don’t try to gossip person sitting beside or in front of them, mostly prefer to use a cell phone, yes obviously, use Facebook, WhatsApp, Instagram, etc. Furthermore, one person is talking to him and his eyes are busy on cell phone screen and fingers are moved between keypads. It’s not a good way and showing you’re ignoring him.
All the facts mentioned above and my observation, we face complications to build and expand our real social circle outside the virtual world. Due to excessive usage of social networking sites creates many social and behavioral issues, e.g. low level of emotional intelligence, less temperament, stress, negative emotions, and people haven’t traits to build long-lasting relations.
Now, let’s try to find the solution to this riddle and also I shared my personal experience and learning with you. When I was in matriculation I was too shy, silent and didn’t like crowds and groups. It was quite difficult for me to start a conversation. But as I entered college, where the environment was changed and I faced any problems. But soon I realized and start working and now I can easily start in different social gatherings and events by only breaking this ice burg.
To further improve my social skills I worked on an interesting challenge. Actually, this challenge about listens to others and talk about them, not about ourselves. For this purpose meet a nice and different range of people like rickshaw driver, a waiter in a hotel some new colleagues. It was an amazing experience everyone has a story but no one has time to listen. Mr. Abdul Rehman working in a small Chicken Haleem shop, he belongs from District Vehari (a city of south Punjab). Abdul Rehman works dawn to dusk and earns only fifteen thousand. Rehman is a simple but a jolly nature person. He offered me a cup of tea but due to some personal commitment, I excused him and assured him next time. To learn more and enrich my experience I talked to some other people including my colleagues, some hostel mates, and gardener, kitchen staff in our office. It was an awesome experience, when I talked to some old workers and colleagues they are a walking encyclopedia I learned a lot of new thing about my organization, learn how to handle a critical situation, how they face different problems and what the easiest and safer way to work.
Another sad aspect and lesson that I learned from this activity and interested challenge. Our senior citizens (old age baba gee) who have a rich source of knowledge and see many ups and downs in life but they are too unaccompanied and the younger generation haven’t enough time to spend with them. In the park, I see many baba gee who sit alone and when someone just says Asslmoalikum, instantly they start gossip. I suggest all of you feel this experience and you will be delighted and next you will never miss any moment. Also another thing people who commit suicide, the reason is not they have low will power, and impatient but no one in the whole world you listen to them, who provide them appease, whenever someone loose hope, he needs a tablet of affection, a capsule of motivation and a syrup of some kind words. If he received this treatment early he will survive.
To treat this syndrome I suggest all of you a book I study/read this week written by Dale Carnegie, and title of the book “How to make new friends & influence people”. I think it’s among best book on the subject of self-improvement and much effective to develop and maintain long-lasting relation in business, at home, with friends and anywhere you need. After reading I assured you, you will see a positive change in your personal, professional and social life, it will become more positive. If you wanted to change yourself and think there is a room of improvement within yourself I recommend you read it.
The lesson I learned from this book “seethings from other person’s perspective”. It’s a common habit or mistake that we make, we think others are always wrong and this is the cause why we can’t build good relations. So, change this habit I assured you, life will become more comfortable and happy. to conclude the topic I have some tips and suggestions;
· Use real name
· Express honest gratitude
· Do more listening than talking
· Talk more about them than about you
· Be authentically interested
· Be sincere in your praise
· Show you care and affection
