9 Reasons why Muslims leave Islam. An ex-Muslim’s perspective
The visibility of apostasy in Islam is surging. Islamic figures and clerics are worryingly taking notice.
In fact, almost half of all the material cited here originates from current or former members of ‘Yaqeen Institute’ and ‘Sapience Institute’. Whose primary purpose is to answer doubts about Islam and within it. The word ‘Yaqeen’ translates to ‘certainty’. A Muslim equivalent to Answers in Genesis if you will.
The public figures (Muslim clerics and academics) cited chiefly address a younger Western or Westernised Muslim audience. Most of them have an emigrant background in a non-Islamic country, like myself, or reside in the Islamic world.
These clerics and academics sometimes share their opinions on why Muslims leave. However, none of them actually utilise studies with a large sample size as evidence. So I assume they rely on anecdotal experience from their work.
The ‘Summary of Muslim opinion’ section is self-explanatory where ‘Muslim’ refers to the speakers in the material cited. What is written there does not reflect my personal opinion, which is discussed below in the ‘My opinion’ part.
In giving my opinion I am speaking as someone who grew up in multiple areas of Scotland varying from 0 to moderate Muslim minority populations but who did attend Mosque classes while raised. Who also left the religion.
1 - Islam has been reduced to just an identity
Summary of Muslim opinion
Dr Yusuf argues that national identity is supplanting religious identity [1][00:04:30]. Islam is being incorrectly boiled down to just an identity and a culture by adherents and outside factors.
Without going into detail, a complete and proper immersion into Islam would have 3 parts. Iman which is faith, Islam which is submission and Ihsan which is striving for perfection in worship.
Everything begins with the Fitra. The natural disposition to believe in and worship the one true God. Innate in all humans in the Islamic view.
Islam has been reduced to just a culture [1][5:55]. ‘Halal cuisine’ whatever the hell that means, saying ‘yo akh [bro]’, the dress and celebrations. These do not even constitute a small fraction of the submission part.
Given nothing of what is thought of as ‘Islamic culture’ at least with respect to dress, food and certain language is mandatory in the slightest. John Smith who plays golf and eats casserole monthly can be a better Muslim than all of the Muslims in his country.
In addition, the concept of Muslims as a mere minority group is being solidified. Political talk, counter-hate speech and Islamophobia discourses can even smuggle being a Muslim into the racial sphere [1][6:07]. Being a Muslim is equivalent to being a brown person. A checkbox on a census form. A minority group and not humanity-encompassing. Not a way of life, a state of being or a pursuit as it is meant to be.
Naz briefly stated There is ‘no cultural pressure or consequences to abandoning it’ [1][7:50] although Dr Yusuf did not express agreement and quickly changed the subject.
My opinion
Interestingly the part about national identity being a replacement for Islam is a new one for me. Measuring the relativity between national identity as a replacement for religious identity is difficult. Owing to complex interpretations of patriotism and nationalism as they relate to it.
I did however find a Pew study showing increased inclusivity of national identity to different religions and races by populations of various countries [2].
Personally I also often come across Orthodox Muslims accusing elite globalist Liberalism’s influence on media, culture and policy in pushing us to be ‘Godless nations’. Another point of contradiction. It seems to be the case that globalism is increasing although with a few hiccups in the last 2 decades.
I think there is weak evidence of national identity replacing religion. Even if religious identity is decreasing among both Muslims and other faiths, I highly doubt this to be a close to a decisive factor for apostasy.
With there being little pressure to leave Islam I beg to differ. In a survey of 550 ex-Muslim respondents, 38% of partially closeted reported verbal abuse, 45% of open ex-Muslims losing family members and almost 35% of open reported threats of violence.[16][Page 32[
Mind you, this was in North America where many Muslim clerics and other data admit generally greater liberalisation [9][33:40] and integration compared to those in Europe. Accusations of demon possession are also very common even for issues not related to doubting Islam such as mental health[5].
Turning to the Islamic world things are a lot more dire. With 20 of 49 Muslim-majority countries having laws penalising apostasy.
Ignoring written laws and looking at public opinion does not fare better. Nations with over 20% of people who were pro death penalty for apostasy, let alone any punishment, accounted for 30% of the global Muslim population or a total of 422 Million people, from my calculations, according to a Pew poll.[3] [4]
I’m not making the claim that death for apostasy is the theologically correct legal stance in Islam. Which is a whole other can of worms. I am highlighting the context in which ex-Muslims and Muslim doubters of Islam often operate in. Within their families and communities.
2 - Islam is taught as just rules to submit to
Summary of Muslim opinion
The religious law I followed in public school was an easy go-to differentiator. I am sure other Muslims raised here can relate to hearing “Oh my God you’ve never tried KFC !!” , “Do you hate Santa? Is that why you don’t celebrate Christmas?”, “How come you don’t have to do Scottish ballroom dancing?”
I was even asked in high school “Would you rather do Maths or get a girlfriend?” As a joke. I found myself hastily explaining how I am not gay, indeed starting puberty and not scared of girls like when I answered Maths.
However, on the Muslim side, there is a grave imbalance of focus on these rules. It can still be justified to an extent. Families know the West is a society where teenage pregnancy, alcohol and drugs can be prevalent.
But still; there is a fear, shame of the kid’s ‘on a path to hell’ status and guilt from everyone knowing you have ‘haraam [forbidden acts] children’. Causing parents to hyper-focus on obedience to these rules.
It ignores the foundation of creed, and divine wisdom that they come from. The cart is put before the horse.
Rejecting the faith can be a form of rebellion towards parents or the rules of the culture. One which is enforced upon them. [8][5:12]
This is in stark contrast to how Islam came to Muhammad. First, it was to contemplate existence, what idols are if they are worthy of worship and who is worthy of worship.
Then laws regarding prayer and alcohol etc. Were introduced piecewise. Once the Muslims had a strong foundation in heart and mind.
My opinion
In my personal experience, I can strongly agree with this. On the condition of the 2000s and very early 2010s period. At least when I was a child during the 00s you do not do these things because it led you to hell and ‘Allah said so’. If given an explanation at all.
Even today gossip of pre-marital relationships, the shame of a Muslim being caught as an alcohol consumer, weed smoker or “Allah forbid” a homosexual can find itself on the tongues of friends and distant family.
Home-schooled Islamic education did not help much. It was mostly reciting the Arabic Qur’an when I understood no Arabic. The recital is seen as a form of worship in Islam.
Only upon moving house and attending my first large mosque aged 8 to 10 that this improved a little. Moving house again then restarting ages 12–17. Gaining some level of Seerah (Autobiography of Muhammad) and Islamic studies during those periods. Still, I can see this remaining the case for those without access to a large mosque or Islamic curriculum, during that time.
Returning to the present is where my difference pops up. I argue this has been heavily tackled in the last decade. Cameras in hand, the internet has seen an explosion in Islamic education. Amplified by the rise of remote learning.
A plethora of YouTube channels and sites such as Sapience Institute and its members, Yaqeen Institute mentioned earlier and other qualified but independent people became available. Specialising in answering doubts, debating and teaching Islam in an accessible manner. All of these sources garner increasing views on multiple platforms.
It was these very sources I went to first, as a late teenage Muslim, to learn the arguments for Islam and ended up leaving it. One can also ask high-level scholars questions through Twitter, Live streams, YouTube comments, email and internet forums.
Even my business’s Tiktok feed is flooded with Muslim content. Despite the fact, I do not recall liking that content. I use it to do content marketing, find influencers and engage with them in my business’s industry.
Oh well, maybe that bloody algorithm knows me better than I do!
3 - The secular language used to describe reality
Summary of Muslim opinion
Most of the European population is secular. Even the USA with its creationist ‘Ark Encounter’ and presidential bible oaths has a dying Christian population.
Public schools and the institutional culture are secular by in large. ‘Secular’ means trying to not favour the truth value of any single religion over another. The language also reflects this.
An example is employed to illustrate, that saying “it is raining outside” as opposed to ‘God has sent rain’ does not directly oppose religion or God. Instead, it negates it by completely ignoring it altogether [1][21:00, 21:33].
A tweet by someone who studied natural sciences for many years claimed that “not a single page mentioned the word God” in the science books as another point[1][19:27].
This is in stark contrast to the Islamic tradition. Inshallah (if God wills) and Mashallah (God has willed it) are set into a formula in everyday language. Serving constant reminder of the ultimate sovereignty of God. Criticisms of evolution and affirmations of God’s causation can also find their way into school textbooks in some Muslim nations.
That is not to say that secular language does not bleed from the wider culture into Muslim households in the West. Many emigrant families adopt such language to integrate better. Assuming they used such religious language in the first place.
This ignoring does greater harm than discourse that opposes God. Explicit sceptics of religion have at least assigned importance to the topic of God and religion by opposing it.
Other Muslim scholars have alluded to a similar idea for example Sheikh Hamza Yousuf said “They [atheists] do more dhikr [remembrance] than [of] God than most believers.”[13][3:20]
In a greater attack, God’s importance is eliminated from the conscious and subconscious. Complete indifference can neutralise better than the opposition.
On the other hand, it implants a subconscious bias toward naturalism. “It rains”, the Muslim speaker argues, implies rain happens itself. A subtle expression of naturalism.
My opinion
I think that the ‘it rains’ example although biased towards scientific description of reality, is less biased overall than ‘God has sent rain’. ‘It rains’ is not directly incompatible with materialist, deistic, theistic and pantheistic worldviews. It merely lacks the complete picture in the latter 2.
However ‘God has sent rain’ would contradict 3 of these worldviews. God’s externality to rain contradicts the pantheistic, God’s will opposes the deistic and God himself is impossible in a materialistic view.
This is illustrative of the biased conception of what God and religion are. Often found in both believers and sceptics of Abrahamic backgrounds. That metaphysical truth claims and dogma are essential or the foundation of a religion.
This is generally not the case in Eastern traditions. To this day making up over 1 in 5 people. They do exist even in some Western religions. In Islam for instance in some Sufi philosophies. It is just a minority view in those traditions.
The tweet forgets the purpose of science classrooms in the West in my view. Which is to understand the physical alone, given the diversity of beliefs of the students. I am sure even Muslim and Christian scientists would place God at the highest level of an explanation of reality but say it is unscientific to place him in a lab.
Moreover, if we are to allow the mention of God as an explanation of science in the classroom. Why not teach that the purpose of our capacity for pain, suffering and sin is to allow Jesus to die for our sins? So we could then accept him as our lord and Saviour.
Nevertheless, it is generally agreed that language is a factor in the way we see the world. It reflects and re-enforces the culture.
Language hobbyists report saying things when conversing in another language they would not say on their own[12][0:59]. And that when a language becomes extinct a part of the story of humanity has also. I would be open to accepting that language and culture are a factor in what people begin to question.
However, the extent that the way language influences religious views is complex to determine. I would like to see some evidence presented as to what extent it impacts a person’s religious beliefs.
4 - Hedonism and other substitutes for existential contemplation
Summary of Muslim opinion
All types of hedonism are promoted by modern civilisation. It was mentioned previously that the foundation of the religion comes first. This is one of the biggest causes. The options available under liberal capitalism mean that people always have something to run towards.
Be it money, fame, activism or a career.
Why these options are so effective? Because humans are wired for immediate gratification. Existential questions sit under the rug in the meantime.
Religion is presented as the opposite where you exert patience and trust for infinite joy later.
My opinion
I won’t deny that available paths of hedonism and abundance are prevalent under modern capitalism. However, I think that when somebody does pursue it contemplation becomes inevitable. Something Humans seem to be also wired for.
We only have so much stamina to keep running on the hedonic treadmill. Along with existential contemplation itself.
However, it may just be the case that when they do contemplate they still turn to something other than Islam.
Strangely meditation is mentioned [1][35:35] as an escapism. Despite the same speaker mentioning a few minutes earlier that Muhammad meditated a tremendous amount[1][28:43] in cave Hira. Causing in him a great gravity and God submitting self-consciousness leading to prophethood.
This could be another example of Abrahamic bias implying that worship-type prayer to God(s) is the only valid way to escape hedonism. Forgetting that God-agnostic meditation is central to arguably the most anti-hedonistic major religions of Buddhism and Jainism. That also predates all 3 Abrahamic religions might I add.
A notable example of the diversity of opinion on religiousness is Guru Nanak who stated “He who regards all men as equals is religious.”
The religion one is born with will be the first thing one contemplates. Given they will probably know the most about even if that is little. It may happen late in life after pursuing something else or in youth.
They may then reject pursuing something religious, in the traditional sense of religion. In such a case it just appears to those outside that they did not contemplate at all.
5 - Willing Islam to be false to justify a sinful lifestyle
Summary of Muslim opinion
People exert the will to doubt God because of their sinful lifestyle. ‘If god is real I am in deep shit so he better not exist’. The smallest doubt is used as evidence to disbelieve in the religion. Removing internal opposition to it.
A story is cited from a Q&A session with young kids. It is speculated the first question of “Does God exist” is asked because this state of doubt removes sin and responsibility in committing them, like having a girlfriend.
Or it could be the person has been committing the sin their whole life since being raised. So “God better not exist or I need to completely re-evaluate my life.”
My opinion
This is a very stereotypical response of Muslims in the minds of ex-Muslims who come out.
It really begs the question of why millions of Muslims in nations like Tunisia, Iraq, Turkey and Algeria, to name a few, fill the streets with fierce rage and defend their prophet and scripture upon criticism or mockery. Despite night clubbing, pre-marital dating, modern music and even alcohol being prevalent in these societies.
I have heard a story of a clique of students from the Gulf states gifting a Grey Goose Vodka bottle of over 5 litres for a birthday at my university. I personally knew Muslims, 1 holding a position, in its MSA who were not intellectually fond of Christianity or Atheism who dated, listened to modern music, did not pray and smoked cigars or weed.
Ultimately this one would be really difficult to study. I doubt that if people do actually leave to practice sin they would admit it.
It is not as difficult to see the same type of sin practised by Muslims who express distaste for the truth claims of Atheism or other religions or too much scepticism of Islam. For example the rates of porn consumption in the Muslim world. The UAE is another hotbed of high-end prostitution among its wealthy population, non-Muslim and Muslim alike.
An ex-Salafi-Muslim student and former translator of Islamic texts who lived in Saudi for over a decade even stated “The only difference between Saudi Arabia and America…they sin in private and in America we sin out in the open.” [15][35:55]
6 - Non-foundational ethical issues in the Qur’an, Hadith and Biography of Muhammad
Summary of Muslim opinion
Muslims live in a world that is infected by liberalism and modernism.
Causing the questioning of certain rulings and practices within Islamic history and law. Beginners in Islamic polemics will be no strangers to the fierce and fiery accusation of Muhammad being a predator.
The normative Sunni [overwhelming sect] position is he married his wife Aisha at 6 and had intercourse with her at 9. The speaker, Yasir Qhadi, accepts this as historically true. Clerics who dispute this and argue she was 19 consist of a small minority.
He thinks these are minor issues mistakenly conflated as major arguments by Muslim doubters. Who then continue with this false perception that causes them to leave.
He argues the same happens with other minor issues related to Islamic philosophy or theology. Such as evolutionary theory.
Nevertheless, he thinks issues with ethics are the most common [9][5:28]. He continues that Muslim doubters need to acknowledge their subjectivity from their culture and place in history. So question your questioning.
Many of these were not problematic for Muslims in Islamic history. Nor do they actually refute the foundation of the religion. That being there is only 1 God, the Qur’an is his literal word and the prophethood of Muhammad.
Offering a theological workaround he states that one starts with reason to examine the proofs of said foundations. Once one has accepted the foundations, the critical questioning train stops.
Some things are supra-rational and we can never understand the why. Sometimes God commands that for the sole purpose of testing if we obey. Remember the word ‘Islam’ translates to submission.
Furthermore, reason itself is not completely reliable since we all make judgements we thought were reasonable at the time that turned out to be wrong.
My opinion
I will grant that problems with practices and ethics like theological justification for Islamic slavery, conquest, women’s rights and marriage to Aisha are a major part of why Muslims leave Islam. Some of these issues assume that Muhammad himself would approve them when they happened.
That is also not to say that countless scholars of the Sunni tradition argue this premise to various extents. For then and all times.
It is possible for these to address the foundations of Islam about prophethood. Their legitimacy as reasons would depend on metaethics.
Around objective morality, its need and if one can dismiss a claim of prophethood because of immoral rulings of practices of the claimed prophet. Divine command theory or goodness being ontologically grounded in God seems to be assumed to defer such an approach.
So if the doubter has a view to counter such metaethics and then uses practices of Muhammad to reject the prophethood they would at least be justified in rejecting Islam. Yasir himself has also said in the past implying morality is innate in human beings.
As far as evolution, scientific or linguistic mistakes are concerned. I think these are legitimate reasons to disbelieve in certain interpretations. Given the Qur’an must be perfect and is the proposed proof of Muhammads’ prophethood.
The question would be are the alternate workaround interpretations, other than Yasir’s solution, theologically sound? If the doubter has a case for rejecting those then these would be strong reasons to reject Islam. It’s just that they do not refute general theism or deism.
He does specify the rulings and ethics of Islam should not be questioned in his workaround, once the foundations of prophethood are accepted. So, I will assume he actually does understand at least pondering or questioning arguments about the foundations of prophethood, to his credit.
7 - Social proof of secularism and failure to convey the Islamic experience
Summary of Muslim opinion
“Maybe 90%” of ex-Muslims’ arguments are post hoc rationalisations after leaving. Social proof and belonging are why they really leave [10][2:08].
In my reading, psychologists like Robert Cialdini in his book Influence talk about people following the crowd and this effect being strengthened by conditions of uncertainty.
Yep, I am talking about you Covid toilet paper fiasco.
The dominant ideas in media and culture in the West are secular. Therefore Muslim doubters immediately run to those ideas when feel do not feel belonging to their immediate group or feel uncertain.
This is reinforced Western dominance in natural Sciences, technology, social sciences [8][3:00]. These ideas and this culture also fill the void of uncertainty.
There is no modern Islamic counter-example to answer. Muslim apologists dearly cling to their early medieval giants. Smelling of an inferiority complex their default response to this is “oh yeah, w-w-w-well look at how spectacular we were about 1000 years ago.”
Not that this is factually incorrect for said historical Islamic civilsations. It just sounds embarrassing to immediately go that far back in the past. Signalling how poor it is in the present.
In addition, Islam is not being articulated in a way that conveys certainty and belonging. It is not merely a belief but a form of knowing that shapes how your being relates to the world. It always sits in an existential container.
My opinion
Hamza thinks intellectual issues are really only the case for 10% of ex-Muslims. Begging an understanding of why he is part of an organisation whose work primarily focuses on these issues. As opposed to focusing on the infrastructure, culture and social output to foster belonging. Prevent instead of cure.
He is correct about some areas of the USA and Canada that have high integration and liberalisation. However, you will still find many enclaves of Muslims that hold on to their culture and religion in NYC, New Jersey, Dearborn, Hamtramck, Baltimore and Dallas. I am very familiar with similar areas in the UK like Pollokshields, Southall, Bordesley Green and East London.
On the contrary, studies have shown the complete opposite of what Hamza is claiming overall. It is more difficult for Muslim minorities to find belonging to the outside society. In fact, Harvard Press actually published a short book on it [6].
This has been highlighted in the French riots. As well as many messages against the secular system as a whole shown in Qur’an burning or Cartoon protests. A point where non-Muslim and Muslim critics of these acts will differ.
If Hamza thinks that the intellectual objections raised by ex-Muslims are ultimately poor that’s fair enough.
But, unless I am misunderstanding, to conclude that this shows Muslims do not leave because of intellectual issues, poor or not, would be a non-sequitur.
8 - Emotional and psychological issues
Summary of Muslim opinion
The vast majority of first-wave converts were engrossed in the faith and never left. Despite new restrictions on their current vices and obligations. Those few who left in the early days were hypocrites. Merely pretending to be Muslim. Usually due to not prospering quickly after entering the faith.
Omar then projects this to today. Adding that people who had to struggle to get to faith will love it and rarely leave. Whereas those born into it do not experience what it is like to be away from God[7][4:25].
Becoming desensitized to the benefit. Faith then becomes numb to their hearts. All they see are restrictions leading them to search elsewhere. ‘Faith’ is a term he does not define here.
People of knowledge are often the ones who fear and love God. So when people leave it is an indicator of ignorance.
The intellectual arguments of ex-Muslims are poor. Indicating they are formed in a hurry after they leave. Really this is because they want to be their own God in their life[16][4:42].
Overall the reasons they leave are not directly related to Islam but something else entirely[7][6:12] [8][2:48]. Their arguments are just post hoc rationalisations.
My opinion
For me, this one raises more questions than it answers. What is meant by ‘Islam’ here when he says not directly attributable to Islam [7][3:20]? I often see many peers and Imams incorrectly, I would argue, reduce Islam to only believing in God.
While simultaneously affirming that rejection of the literal divinity of the Qur’an or appointment of the prophethood of Muhammad is heresy by consensus.
I am interested in the explanation as to why “being distant from God” is not self-refuting. By logical necessity, would a person not simply become distant from God after they leave?
Moreover, he refuses to address the idea of someone leaving for another tradition in which they have equal or stronger faith or love for God. Seeming to portray the monopoly of Islam and Muslims on faith in God. As if faith and love for God necessarily draw one to orthodox Islam to the exclusion of all else.
I honestly think knowledge is not necessary for mere God consciousness, God-fearing or God-loving. I think the main things are how strictly you were taught to love and fear God, reminded of hellfire and how much you practised the religion when raised. If I am wrong it would imply those born in poor circumstances without access to Islamic education are cut off from strong piousness.
I think the onus is on the speakers to explain the faith commitment of billions of Buddhists, Hindus, Taoists and Jains throughout history. As well lack of them from hedonistic theists.
9 - Dominance of the Orthodoxy and lack of alternatives
Summary of Muslim opinion
Much of Islamic education today is Salafi-influenced. The Salafi premise is that the further back you go in the tradition the better the understanding. You get closer to the perfect interpretation of Muhammad. The closest to himself is his companions.
This view and certain byproducts of it overcame and infected other schools of theology like the rationalist schools. Owing to various political and historical reasons in the last century that go back even further.
The works of these other schools are being revived in Western Academia and to a smaller extent in the Islamic world. Notwithstanding, they still remain unpopular and without popular public Muslim advocates.
Other consequences of the Salafi way of thinking of severely limiting critical thinking, equating great scholars of the past ‘Golden age’ to near prophet status and putting hadith [recorded sayings/actions of Muhammad] as an equal to the Qur’an have also influenced many Islamic institutions.
Even ones that are not necessarily Salafi in creed or perhaps opposed to them on certain foundational methodological issues. For more on that see my other article ‘Kalaam in Islam’.
To make matters worse the interpretation of Islam the local Imam teaches becomes what his students perceive as Islam [14][12:40].
Muslims are starved of further paths of least resistance after encountering problems in the Orthodoxy. When the Orthodoxy do address those other schools they are critiqued as innovations, a path that leads to heresy or heresy itself.
The Orthodoxy always gets the crown prize of getting to the people first. Frequently before or during their questioning adolescent years. Allowing them to frame and prop up their narrative. So through them the only options become their Islam or non-Islam.
My opinion
I can definitely agree with what was said here. Despite the amount of Islamic content online increasing its distribution is relatively low.
Overwhelmingly dominated by Orthodox Salafi, Ashari and Maturidi theological schools. I find that their responses towards more rationalist or progressive forms of Islam are often not their absolute number 1 priority.
A spot that is held by responding to secular Atheistic and Christian criticism and educating current Muslims to be more religious. Not to say that it’s not a high priority, though this type of content is rarely front and centre.
Therefore without deep digging, their scolding of it can still be found. Someone exploring these alternative interpretations will have a barrage of arguments to respond to.
While also having few opposing intellectuals to ask and pull from. This is in addition to the social de-ranking, judgement and possible personal critique I often find adherents of these alternative schools face, if open.
For a taster of what I mean, you could read the comments of this video. Or watch this video critiquing faculty at Bayan Institute, a somewhat reformist Orthodox Islamic school in the USA founded by Yaqeen.
However, I do not think this is really a fundamental causal reason for leaving. Rather it is a deprivation of a safety net. After a Muslim already has their reasons to leave and is just giving Islam a final revival shot.
Sources
[1] Osmanlioglu Y, Naz. Why Muslims leave Islam. The Safina Society Podcast [podcast on the Internet]. 2023 [cited 2023]. Available from: https://player.fm/series/the-safina-society-podcast/why-are-muslims-leaving-islam-feat-nazmul-dr-yusuf.
[2] Pew Research Centre. 2021 May 4 [cited 2023 Aug 03]. Available from: https://www.pewresearch.org/global/2021/05/05/views-about-national-identity-becoming-more-inclusive-in-us-western-europe/pg_2021-05-05_cultural-grievances_0-01/
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