…n picking up an object. Upadana is encountering something and then wanting to hold on at all costs. By clinging, we initiate suffering — if we don’t get the object of desire we suffer; if we do get the object of desire, it will ultimately change or fade away, and we suffer.
We want to defend ourselves against threats to our desire, physical and psychological, and so we cling more tightly. But the tighter we cling, the more desperate our expectations in the impossible: we don’t control other living things. And ultimately everything needs to breathe and change.