I try really hard to be a good listener, but that’s easier said than done. For most of us it’s easier to talk, than listen.
Listening requires that we set aside agendas, focus, and put the interest of others ahead of our own. To be brutally honest, most of us (myself included) are in a constant battle with selfishness — the urge to be egocentric and believe the world revolves around our problems and concerns.
This week, I have been interviewing people for multiple school employment opportunities. I always ask at list one question about how the candidate would deal with someone who is angry, or upset. This week I heard one of the best responses I have ever heard.
Heart. Mind. Heart.
The candidate said they would begin the encounter with heart. They would receive the emotion — listening carefully and affirming feelings. Next they would establish the facts and develop some possible solutions (or at least first steps). Mind. Finally, they said they would end with heart. Reaffirming the frustration, the legitimacy of the concern, and the willingness to help.
Simple, but brilliant.
The candidate said they learned this in training at a hospital, so I am unsure to whom to attribute the strategy, but I thought it was a good one.
Heart. Mind. Heart.
Empathize. Think. Empathize.
There is a difference between listening and waiting for your turn to speak. — Simon Sinek
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