Dear Mom and Dad

I know this is one of the most unconventional of all discussions we have ever had, but I suppose it was the need of the hour.

I still remember how you people used to exclaim how I am a different person, better in a lot of ways from the other people and how you knew I could possibly make something big out of my life if I ever focused and stuck to a decision. I remember the days when my teachers used to tell Baba how I was good leadership material way back in days when I couldn’t even spell leadership. I remember those days when Baba secretly hoped I would take up IAS and set an example of as to how a leader should be. I remember those days when my standing in front of the mirror for a long time irked baba because he had always seen a son in me. I remember the days when Maa had to stand up for me and do the right thing against all odds. And as I look back to all these things, I know I was raised to be different. I know Baba keeps asking me to gel with the crowd, be as invisible as I can and be NORMAL; but he knows it, I was NEVER normal. I have always been the crazy daughter who will take risks, be everywhere, make a mark, stay where the action is, and at the end of the day, no matter how much the parental instinct asks you to tell me to lie low, you cant deny the fact that you are proud of the crazy, adventurous, risk taker you have for a daughter because tell me frankly, how much fun is it back home without me adding to the dose of daily household drama?

But the drama isn’t the question here. The question isn’t even about how much you miss it; it is about the person I am and the person I have been brought up as. I have always been a believer, and I have always been different. I have always had faith and I have always been that one girl who never fit in the crowd really. I have been the girl who questioned and never blindly followed anything. I have always been the girl who needed a REASON to do something, anything and once I got my reason, no matter what I would do all I had to and stick to the reasons that brought me there. And for once I have found both rhyme and reason; enough reason to drive me every morning to do something, to achieve and keep moving ahead.

And yes I know you will say “It’s just an Organisation”, but trust me I found my reason. I found AIESEC, and today as I complete exactly 1 year and 2 days in this organisation I realize that I’m really glad about all the choices and circumstances that led me here, because there is nowhere else I’d rather be, there’s no one else I’d rather be. I’m proud of myself today and I’m glad I became who I am right now. A year ago, money would have been a powerful factor in all my equations but today, people and empowerment matter more to me. And they don’t just MATTER to me in the same sense as they do to all other 20 year old young Kashmiri girls — I’m pretty sure most of them are too busy thinking about what colour nail paint goes better with their Jimmy Choo heels than think about a malnourished girl somewhere in Africa being trafficked across the border; but me, well, I’m different and have always been, so that poor girl matters to me a lot more than all pairs of expensive shoes in the world and instead of spending my time worrying about the heels, I spend it by changing the realities that girl is living in. And that is how I found my reasons. That’s how I came to become so attached to this organisation. And yes I know your response to that is “It does not matter till you aren’t a basic graduate”, and I ask you a question. Being a citizen of the world that we live in today, do change and impact have a relevance only as long as you are a graduate? Does a practically defunct education system that revolves around testing your memory more than your knowledge dictate how much you can contribute to changing the realities of people who weren’t born with all the comforts we were born with? I say no, it does not. And I believe in that because I have made an impact. I have made a change. And I’m proud to say I did that when I was a 19 year old undergraduate. And thus I see a future here. I see a career here.

Stating that, and knowing that I have never had any pressure from you as parents about the career path that I choose, I think that I have reached a level of clarity about the kind of career I am looking forward to and AIESEC features prominently on top and I need you both to understand that it is to me what surgery is to Mum and what being an administrator is to Baba; and I know that the joy that I get out of helping people and making an impact is something I had in my blood already and AIESEC just made me realize how important it was to me. How can I pretend to be someone else when impact and change drive me each day? And thus, I need you both to very open-mindedly accept the fact that I have already set out on my career path and I need your support at each step that I take to create my own experience. I need you to stand by and watch me walk that mile while I know that you have my back, instead of you holding my hand or carrying me up to the destination, because I need to learn from MY experiences more than I need to learn from yours, because back when you were a 20 year old, the time, situations and experiences were all different and today they are different. I need to learn from the experiences that I create for myself, walking on the path that I have chosen for myself, and I need you to support me along the way.

As I state my decision to choose AIESEC as a career, I hope that you understand and support the fact that I might be taking up more responsibilities in the organisation by the year end and these decisions are important steps towards a fulfilling career as I see it. Considering all these aspects, the National Strategic Conference to be held from 6th October to 13th of October in Sunrise Resorts on the Delhi Jaipur Highway is an important step that I need to take in that direction. The delegation from Jalandhar will be leaving on 7th October taking the Jalandhar-Delhi-Jaipur Route by train from where pick up busses have been arraigned for the delegates to take them to the venue. The entire journey takes 7 hours up to Delhi and 2 from there to Jaipur by train. The delegation comprises of 15 people from Jalandhar selected by the Member Committee and the entire Executive Body of AIESEC in Jalandhar, the total count being 26 people from Jalandhar out of which 10 are girls. The delegation will return back on the 13th to LPU. The travel expenses will have to be borne by the delegation and the delegation fee that includes the accommodation and food at the resort has to be paid separately and will be notified. Other details of the conference can be discussed on phone.

This conference is important because it sums up all of the work that I have done for the organisation in the past one year and hands over my analysis report to me as a Team Leader. It also strategically plans based on the work that has been done by me in the past one year, and keeping in mind the kind of responsibilities I would like to take up in the future, what the future course of action would be for my department and Local Committee for the coming year. And considering the amount of hard work I have put in for the department and the results that have been generated, my presence at the conference is a must.

I understand that you being parents have certain concerns with regard to the safety and security of sending your daughter to a conference, especially when I have lived in a very protected environment in the past, but I need you to understand that the girl who never even walked up to her grandparents’ house was just a pampered princess and surely needed a lot more exposure. I got a practical culture shock when I arrived in this university a year and a half ago but I’m glad I did when I did, because very frankly, I would never have gotten out of that shell and I know you both accept it that it was required for me to come out of it. And I know you are ok with sending me to a conference as long as someone accompanies me, but being a professional I am bound by certain rules and regulations and at this point I cannot throw caution to the winds and ignore all rules that govern my organisation. I have to keep in mind the fact that this conference is not being hosted by my Local Committee and we are going as guests to another Local Committee and if at this stage I suggest that I want to bring my parent along, it will not be appropriate and I will not be able to get the required permissions for the same thus causing a lot of embarrassment to me professionally.

Considering all the factors that I have mentioned, I hope that you will very open-mindedly consider my reasons and motivation to go for this conference and the limitations associated and allow me for the same. I just want you to realize that I am a grown up girl now and even though I still require your support, trust and guidance, there are times when even you have to loosen the grip a little bit so that I have a complete life experience. You cannot be there with me always and I have to learn to go about my business without a constant somebody by my side always. There were times when I couldn’t get down at a shop to buy a toothbrush for myself, but at this stage I have spent 1.5 years alone in a hostel, conducting myself in a dignified manner and going about life in a very mixed environment, the kind which I could never have been able to experience had I not come out of my comfort zone back home and stepped into the real world. And I hope you understand that as each day goes by I need to keep on living the life experience that belongs to me and me alone along with your guidance and at some point there has to be a day when you have to let go, little by little even if you still see me as the curly haired little girl who wanted matching red shoes that she saw in a storybook.

Hoping that you seriously consider my request and understand how much it means to me, signing off with a lot of Love