Is there a charity to which I can donate procrastination? I would like a tax deduction too. Big, Fat, Mahler represents what I wish I could embody. Cat -Mellow. The enviable talent of sitting on a pile of procrastination and making it look like a zen exercise.

Instead, my pussy was born & raised in the NYC ‘burbs. By 38 she had a thrisis*. In an effort to stop working for The Collective White Man — I chose to uproot my life from Manhattan and work with 1 White Man, my Dad.

Entrepreneurial endeavors beckoned. I am neck-deep in trying to capitalize on some inventions he’s made.

Like a travel enema. A rectal douche really. En:kits — Up Yours…With Ours! Although it’s easier to be an asshole than to admit you have one apparently.

Now onto Azoy Skincare’s TRUCAST soap.

Single, never married, and childfree, my disturbing life-partner, Anxiety, moved with me to Michigan. (Corporate America relocated my NY parents to the Midworst when I was in college).

That was 3 years ago — and my business still isn’t launched.

Thus, this verbal diarrhea is my way to reconcile procrastination with expectation.

The burden of owning a broken brain. I tred, floaties strapped to every limb, with the legions of other high-functioning Anxiety Disordered folk. We look at the shores, at our friends, whose mental homeostasis calibrates back to “normal” with much more efficiency.

Since stumbling across this site 72 hours ago: I have tweezed, shopped, toasted, Candy-Crushed, Interwebbed, partied, and pet my cat. I know I am not a lone procrastinator, but fighting for focus feels so freakishly lonely.

I went to Georgetown, got an NYU MBA, traveled the world, worked and lived in L.A., rode the Web 1.0 wave in NYC. No matter. Anxiety happily stiff-arms my wins and wipes her ass my with accomplishments.

Anxiety hates Change. The hourly reprimand<> Gnarly, snarky, self-negating, self-help-termish words splatter-painted on my endocrine system.

I am so intimate with feeling like shit, I feel like we’ve had sexual relations.

I just hope one day I can feel like shit and feel successful.