Mental Time-Traveling in Error
Yesterday, I was projecting too far into the future and sent a bonehead text to a group. It seemed inane at the time until reading it again. It sounded suicidal. I had just realized how short on time this group of friends was before half of them moved away. I wasn’t being present. I was a month and months away. I was preoccupied with what I wasn’t getting. In my attempt to apologize for the awkward text, I became more awkward, got too far into my head. I deleted all my messages. I sank further into the muck as I left work. Headed for a vape shop to get a refill, since I had an appointment and couldn’t make it home. At least it wasn’t a liquor store, the vape juice wasn’t a pack of smokes, the appointment wasn’t a barstool. I guess that’s progress.
It’s difficult to focus on the here and now when you feel so far behind, but it’s the only way to affect the future. Guess I’ll start by being grateful I have Medium to help me vent and share my experience.