Do Christians still date?!?!
Ok ok so let’s get straight to the point, dating sucks! Why, you ask?!? I will tell you. It’s because some people take it really serious and others are just dating for fun. Now I know you’re thinking this doesn’t sound so bad, but from this point of view it looks pretty clear it is either one or the other. It seems that no one is really sure about what they want! So due to many bad dates I have learned to be VERY SPECIFIC about my definition of dating and what I want! Also since I am a Christian I have to make sure the person that I’m dating is on the same page or respects my lifestyle.
Here are my three major lessons or tips:
Tip #1 Make sure that if you’re fresh out of a relationship that you take your time.
Don’t hop into another relationship that you can’t handle emotionally! Also try not to fill a void with a new relationship. Now I know that ladies sometimes we get into our Friday night mode. If you don’t know what that is let me explain it this way, hair and make up done + the crew +singleness+ dope outfit+going out=meeting someone and forming relationship that is not going to last. Clear enough?!? We have to HEAL first then mingle! Remember hurt people hurt people. It is imperative that you take time for yourself! Don’t let societal pressures and opinions about your singleness force you to constantly get in and out of relationships. You need to be the best you possible before you bring someone else into your life.
Tip # 2 Use your past dating and relationship experiences to help develop your dating and relationship goals.
So after you’re done healing, find out what are looking for in a partner. Create relationship goals such as what type of relationship do you want. A romantic one or friendship? What type of things will you bring to the relationship? What are the things that you want from your relationship? What is the foundation of which the relationship is built on? These questions open the door of the church of dating! Lol! It also helps you determine and narrow down your standards and deal breakers. So consider finding out these things before you start dating.
Tip #3 Get rid of any lists or the idea of the “perfect date” or “perfect partner”.
There is NO such thing as the perfect soulmate! Nobody is perfect!! We all have preferences, but don’t become trapped by them! Now let me be clear… set standards and stick to your moral beliefs, but don’t overlook people due to your obsession with perfection. It seems that when people strive for the element of perfection they miss the mark EVERY TIME! Then they are trapped behind this preconceived notion “that there is nobody out there for me.” We don’t believe that this is true. If you are willing to put yourself out there and search for what you’re looking for you will find it.
So, all in all, dating doesn’t have to be scary and intimidating or basic and unfruitful. Get in God and find yourself. Learn to be content with who you are before bringing someone else into the picture then ask yourself, “what’s the purpose for my dating?” Learn to enjoy your partner past their imperfections while at the same time setting boundaries for a healthy relationship. Have fun and be patient because anything worth having takes work.