I know that I am not the only one. Living in pain, fighting every day just to get out of bed or off of the bathroom floor. I know that I’m not the only one that has been to numerous doctor’s, only to be denied help, ignored, and turned away. And I also know that I have to see something be done about it.
While Googling my heart out about chronic nausea and pain, I came across an article about Kurt Cobain. As it turns out, he attributed his heroin addiction to an undiagnosed stomach illness that he had been suffering through for many years. I am not, now nor have I ever been, an addict but I do understand hurting. The reality is until a person actually lives pain, they can never understand it. The days and weeks of it being so very overwhelming. Physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritualspiritually. Searching for help, reaching for the positive, and looking to the light at the end of the tunnel. I truly wouldn’t wish this kind of pain upon my worst enemy. Absolutely no human being deserves to suffer or be chronically ill.
Healthcare is nonexistent. If you do not have just the right amount of coverage, money and/or status, or a recongizable last name, nobody cares enough to see you get better. In fact, it seems like their only goal is to prescribe yet another medication that does not work or makes things worse, and that many cannot afford. At my last GI appointment, in Januaray, when I asked him if there was anything he could give me for my pain, narcotic or non-narcotic, he looked me in my face and told me that he “wasn’t in the business of poisoning people’s bodies but that he would call me in a prescription that he felt would really help me”. When I showed up at my pharmacy to pick it up, all he had called in was a medication for constipation and it cost over $400. So in his expert opinion, in about the twenty five minutes he sat with me (and against every other GI I had already been seen by back home), I had just been suffering from constipation for more than six years. He had no labwork and nothing from my previous medical files (which to this day I’m still waiting for his office to contact me for my next appointment after he obtained all of my medical history). Not a shred of anything, accept his opinion of course. Severe and chronic pain and nausea, multiple hospital stays, NG tubes, and stomach infections. But it was all due to constipation.
I was referred to him by my state insurance, at county hospital. However, I guess somehow I was supposed to have that kind of money lying around. And what did I do? I paid my bills and bought my children groceries instead. Like so many hundreds of thousands of people. How many individuals in this country have to make this choice every damn day? When this all started, I had a great job, with decent coverage. My copays were a little on the high side but my prescriptions were almost always covered. I had dental and vision. This illness has not only taken my health, it’s taken everything I have ever worked for. Everything I had received an education for. Everything I have ever invested my energy, time, and money in, gone. I’m 33 years old! How in the hell does someone in their 50’s, 60’s, or 70’s do it? How do parents with small, ill children do this? And why in the fuck has it become acceptable as the norm?!