Even in the 90’s I was personally more into darker women but that may have been a product of where I grew up. I really, really had a thing for black women dressed in goth lol. At the time I thought I was just into black women in general but I think I was more into women who were willing to break stereotypes and I still am.

But having said that because of where I grew up I got a backseat view of many of the issues that you talked about. The pinnacle of success for many of my male black friends was a big titty blonde. I saw the anger and frustration of many of my female black friends who felt they would betray their race for dating anything but black men but felt rejected because they weren’t “white” enough. But as you said much of this is changing but much is still the same.

My last girlfriend/fiance was a very dark woman and I think part of our struggle was because she tried so hard to be “proper” and not “too dark” but I only wanted her to be herself. I always cringed at the casual comments about color amongst her family members that always appeared to me to be veiled insults about being “too dark”.

My favorite picture of her makes her skin have a blue tint because of how dark she is…I really love her even still.

Anyway, I just wanted to add a comment. I don’t have a solution.