I got eight that are even better.
- Hit the snooze then scratch your balls. Studies have shown that men who scratch their balls in the morning tend to be successful compared to those who only rub
- Hit snooze again and then scratch your ass. Studies have shown that people who scratch their ass before they get out of bed are more effective in life.
- Hit snooze one more time and scratch your partner/dogs/cats ass because this is just fun.
- Put your pants on one leg at a time. Studies have shown that people who put their pants on one leg at a time are more focused in their day.
- Stroke your balls. Men who are gently stroke their balls in the morning tend to be more understanding and empathetic during the day.
- Scream at the kids to get out of bed because jolting them out of a sound sleep is the most sure way to make them alert for the coming school day.
- Suck down a cup of coffee as quickly as possible to because the 1st degree burn in your mouth and throat will help keep you from eating too much.
- Eat a greasy breakfast sandwich because that and the coffee will help you shit and therefore ease your stress for the day.