I have encountered this frequently in the BDSM community. It’s scary because of the implications that the “wrong” answer would carry. I don’t have a perfect answer…all I can say is do what makes you feel happy. How you are is not only a culmination of events in your life but also in how you chose to deal with them but in the end all that really matters is that you are okay.

I tend to have a different viewpoint when it comes to sexuality though because of what I have seen in life but again it carries scary implications that wrong people would interpret the wrong way.

How you got to where you are matters less than who you are right now. Be who you are right now because you can’t go back and change past.