Sounds a lot like my sister and I. She older than me by one year but she was the golden child and I was the loser. For many years. I fucked up a lot and spent time in jail more than once, I won’t even start talking about drugs and other issues.
But, I got my shit together, got a college degree and I am doing very well raising my daughter alone. None that is good enough, my sister will forever see me as the fuck up. The straw the broke for me was when my daughter and I had a bad patch and she tried to get in between us.
Now, I only talk to her because my daughter wants to see her. We mostly keep things civil because she knows I won’t be afraid to say something to her face in front of everyone.