The climb

push…just a little further

Biggest myth is that entrepreneurship is fun. That it’s glamorous. It isn’t. It’s hard. Really hard. And you’ve got to just hang in there, survive. Whatever you do, survive. Until your salvation comes — if it comes.

It’s draining. Mentally. Emotionally. And sometimes physically. The pressure gets to you, but you somehow handle it. You see the promised land, but your knees are weak. Your team needs you to motivate them, yet you look like garbage right now and could do with some shoulders to lean on. You’re the bravest of all, and also the most insecure. You’re definitely closing that deal, but you’re still so uncertain.

Someone on the team is falling apart. Life happened. You don’t want slackers, but you gotta have empathy. Life is brutal here, but the kindness and camaraderie are what we remember. Do they even believe in you, you sometimes wonder? That’s the doubt and fear creeping in.

You need a break, but now you need to fix a client that the team can’t handle. And someone just quit — ’cause the pressure got to them, ’cause they got a better job elsewhere. And another one. And the other one too. Gosh! No hard feelings. You both shed some tears. Now you need music. No, archery will do. Nah, boxing instead — you need to release the tension.

Hundreds of calls and missed calls — can’t even catch a break. You just want that damned phone turned off. Who’s going to save you now? And mom hasn’t heard from you in a while — yeah, don’t yell on the phone, just let her know everything is all right. You’re fine. No one’s dead. Thank you. Keep it together. But she’s only trying to make sure you’re ok and healthy, and eating, and sleeping. That’s all. Don’t a stranger from home.

“Banji, we’d like to invest in what you’re doing, but we want 80% of the company”. Hahahaha. “That’s a joke, right? You mean you want to own it.” Wait, you need to think this through carefully. Like really carefully. Tsk, tsk, tsk…you should have taken the investment. Now you’re not going to get another one in 2 years. “Gosh! You know what, I’ll pass. It’s more than just some investment. They weren’t even the right fit culturally.”

You take up that external assessor appointment — because who doesn’t love to help students and give back to education? And that other role in that fancy networking group; and this other forum, and that one too. Now you have 5 other commitments and can barely get 6 hours sleep.

You can’t sleep well. “Is this my life now? What if things don’t change? What if this is everything?” Well, look on the bright side — at least you wouldn’t have any liabilities to anyone. Haha. That’s that fear creeping in again. Phone rings. Friends call. Can’t they just leave you alone?! And then it hits: they call because they love you and want to see you succeed. And because some of us are grinding, the success of one gives the others hope that there’s light at the end of the tunnel. Now you’ve got to be the best friend ever and work as hard as you can. Motivate yourself and motivate them too. No excuses for failure.

This one calls you a mentor. You think mess would be better. You’re tearing up inside, while he goes on and on about how you’re such an inspiration. You can’t even inspire yourself not to break under the pressure. “Can I just reach the end of my life and career now?” That’s that tear at the corner of your left eye. Don’t let him see it.

“You guys don’t have a website?” “Ah! That one, I held it up, I was meant to review & approve the design, blah, blah, blah.” “Yeah, but you can delegate.” “I did, just needed to review what had been done.” “Isn’t it crucial to what you do?” “It sort of is, but not entirely, you know. Like…we’ll get it done…next year”. Such an idiot. Got to stop being a perfectionist. Just ship. Improve later.

You crave order, but the chaos suits you more now. What a mess! You can’t even think straight. You’re all over the place. You can feel the pressure building up at the back of your brain. You’re losing consciousness. Even Google Assistant can tell that your routine is all over the place. Time out. A month long vacation. Make it two. Get off work — completely.

But that insufferable client is still paying you for your product & services. Do you cut them loose now? Sometimes these things are cruel. So you play the numbers game. Maybe veer off your business strategy to accomplish it. “Is that part of the plan now?” “Who cares? Just results, right?” “It feels like we’re doing something different, and so many other things.” “Yeah, we’re trying to grow revenue and pay bills.” It’s tough. No one is going to save you. Might as well sell your assets now.

Some other clients & business partners are now your suitors. Do you give this up to join their team & build their own product? What will your team say about that? You haven’t even scratched the surface of the potential of what you’re building, and now you want to abandon it — or, they want you to abandon it to join them — who does that? Now you have a mutiny on your hands. Meanwhile, all you wanted was feedback. Might as well have kept it between yourself and your mentors.

Partners and investors say they like what you’re doing, but they’re really saying ramp it all up. And since you seem to be performing miracles on a lean budget, you foolishly tell yourself you’re ok without the extra cash. Like squeezing water from a rock is something to be proud of. Why not just come clean that you really, really, really need cash, and not more advice?

P.A to a hugely influential CEO calls. Wants to find out how far along our product is, and set up a meeting. “No, no, please don’t. We’re nowhere near delivering an MVP.” You don’t even have faith in yourself anymore. You knew it’d be hard, but not this hard. Now you really, really want to quit. But you also really want to wake up to a beautifully delivered MVP. Gosh!

And that other VIP prospect ‘suggests’ a meeting at 11PM, ‘cause that’s the only time he’s got for you. You wonder what sort of madness, but you know you can’t turn it down — at least not yet. You so royally want to call his bluff.

You’re definitely not making quota for this month or the next. Or the quarter. “Sorry mate, there’s little we can do right now. But keep it up, I love your hustle.” What the heck! After how many meetings, presentations and agreements? You just died a thousand deaths. Then you bet the company on this singular and outrageous plan. If it succeeds, you’re a genius. If it fails? Let’s not even go there. Half your budget goes into this, you’re biting on those saliva-coated nails, waiting for the magical result. This better be good.

You quickly figure out it’s all a game. A challenge. And you simply need to find and assemble all the clues, and then you have your winner. It’s like Call of Duty. You get to play it 50 times a month though, just to figure it out and get to the finish line. But this is real life. And you don’t get that time. Lives depend on you. And today is probably all you’ve got.

You skimp on drinks and go for the cheap wine. Some lady thinks you’re thrifty. You think you just saved a life earlier in the day by paying someone’s medical bills. You know what, you’ve had it. It’s your life, not theirs. They don’t get to tell you how you live your life, since you never get to tell them how they should live theirs.

It’s all fun until it’s not. I’m typing this and laughing at it all. And still overwhelmed by the madness. And all I still see is that promised land. So we dig in. I’ve often asked myself why I chose this path. Whether I shouldn’t just quit and return to that life of comfort and a constant paycheck I once knew. I still don’t fully see the picture, but I don’t regret it one bit.

I didn’t know my strength and my team’s resolve until we got into this crucible. It’s been a rollercoaster on a perpetual loop, where you have to be a hundred things at once, and need hundred things at once too. Fight or flight — you deal with it everyday. But what’s most essential now:

1. have a support system in place;
2. don’t take work or work troubles home;
3. have a life outside work;
4. understand that there are no guarantees;
5. salute those who came before;
6. create a community with those currently in the grind;
7. there are days when the house is on fire — if it ain’t a big deal, just let it burn & build another;
8. it’s not always about product-market fit, but you got into this market for a reason — so figure it out;
9. get the right team together & don’t waste anyone’s time;
10. understand that no one cares, just succeed and be contented with your achievements each day;
11. don’t lose your will to live: remain motivated;
12. eliminate the worries, but keep thinking;
13. get your health in order;
14. focus, but also try to juggle as many balls as you realistically can: there are no guarantees;
15. if you can embrace the challenge though, there just may be a way through;
16. only passion there is, is the passion to succeed — do whatever it takes to succeed on your account;
17. what matters is building/providing/delivering something that makes people happy/better/more productive/fill in the blank; and
18. be grateful for what you have now: friends, family, colleagues, mentors, proteges, assets, learning & growth opportunities, etc.

Climb, stay put, or get back down — it’s a climb that only you can determine when, where and how it ends.

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