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I like the different imageries here, very clear texture, sound, scent, taste. I get the sense of the different and perhaps conflicting backgrounds that made you a multi dimensional character.

I sensed the positive, negative, positive, negative theme. Though depending on where you are at in your life at the moment it might be appropriate to switch it around to negative, positive, negative, positive and end it on an uplifted mood. You probably know better though.

The last stanza, last line, ended abruptly. I’m not sure if you did that on purpose. The other stanzas had some rhyming to it, and the last one had it for three of the lines but not the last. Also the number of syllables are relatively short. It gave me a vibe of ‘sudden death’, instead of the slow drifting I usually feel for the word ‘drowning’. If that wasn’t your intention perhaps I might suggest to reword the last line or the last two lines.

I read some of the other suggestions and can see their point too, so maybe.. from the ‘slipping through hands’, have the ‘plans’ backwash ‘you’ and pulling you down towards drowning.

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