Night

I always felt everything that needed to be fixed, 
should always be fixed from the start. 
Yet, relations can’t be fixed that way, 
they are not like the toys with which I played as a child, 
broken only to be replaced, 
they never filled that missing void.

They are like the scars that I got while falling. 
Scars in relations aren’t a bad thing, 
they symbolize the hardships, 
they symbolize the pain, the struggle and lastly, 
they are a reminder that none of the efforts you make for the one you truly love, 
will ever go in vain.

These short summer nights I spend sleepless and in despair, 
watching the silent spinning of the fan blades, 
the motionless blur reminding me of the standstill my life took, 
two years back in November, when I pretended that I no longer cared.

Those nights spent on the terrace of my building, 
smoke curling from my lips, 
drifting away into the darkness as I would sit thinking about her. 
Minus a cigarette, minus the great view from the terrace, 
I sit tonight with thoughts of you liberating me, 
the distance a distraction, the pain a reminder, and our love a proof.

That something good can’t exist without something bad, 
they balance each other out, 
like our love did in silence until the day we could be together. 
Until all these arguments and problems wouldn’t keep our hearts away, 
but only would make our eyes moist, 
and our lips parting to greet each other after all those hours of not being there.

-b.v