WHY WE SHOULD NEVER GIVE UP ON LOVE
Life seemed to be taking a turn for the worse. He hadn’t expected it to end this way. They were meant to be but why couldn’t she see that? She was being obstinate and rigid about it but there was nothing that could change what they had together. They had met a couple of years back. His friend used to take dance lessons and she had insisted that he come along. He couldn’t refuse and accompanied her on one condition that he would just watch. Yet, he found himself standing among a group of trained dancers and continuously tripping and falling all over the place. He was thankful when break came and all he to do was sit and watch. I hope these dancers don’t have some peculiar way of sitting, he thought to himself. With a sigh, he pulled a chair and sat down. His body was aching and paining in all places which until now had never moved. He sat cursing himself for coming to this place. But that was before he saw her. All he could do was gape and sit staring at her. She came walking with a purposeful gait. Her hair hung loosely over her shoulders and she had big wondrous brown eyes. She looked at him and made a face. That must have been owing to the expression on his face. He grinned stupidly looking at her and she turned her head away. The music started and she was flowing with the music just the way the water flows down a stream. The impact of her moves, her expressions, the way her slender waist turned sharply, her smile and the look in her eyes resembled the way the water crashes onto the rocks after it flows of a waterfall. His friend snapped her fingers in front of his face and he realised he was staring away. There was applause and he energetically applauded for her. She walked right past him with a slight smile on her face. From then on, they often met at the dance class where she would come for her lessons and he would come to see her and unsuccessfully try shaking a leg or two in hopes of impressing her. Well, if not impress her he knew he could make her laugh. Rather, his dancing could make her laugh. Whereas, when it came to talking to her, all he could do was mumble when she would come in front of him and see her looking at him with a stupefied look on her face. His endeavours continued for a year until one day he finally spoke to her. They spoke and after that there was no stopping them. They would speak occasionally but it would be one of those animated conversations wherein he would be lost speaking and she would attentively listen and ask insightful questions. It was magical and before they realized they had fallen in love. Everyone knew that they had a special connection. All, except her and there was nothing that he could do to make her realize it.
She knew what she felt for him. But how could she have been so careless? Who was he? Just some random guy who had come into her life out of nowhere and before she knew it he had made his way into her heart. Like he had known there had been a place there for him. There was struggle between her mind and heart and that was clearly an indicator for her. He was trouble. She couldn’t let him come into her life and tip the scales of balance. She didn’t respond to all his gestures and hoped he would stop eventually. Her scheme had worked successfully and he had lost hope and given up. He was now simply a good friend who cared for her and never made a move in that direction again.
On that fateful day, when she spent the evening alone with him after a long time she wasn’t hoping for what transpired. They had been walking and talking about which of the current dances was their favourite. He was perfecting his ballroom dance. He joked about how the aches and pains in his body were lesser now that he was doing ballroom. She burst into giggles and soon enough they were both laughing together. She didn’t realize that she was holding his hand until she stopped to see his face. He looked perplexed and happy and smitten in love, all at the same time. She saw her hand clasping his tightly and jerked it away. The hurt expression on his face told her everything she needed to know. He had never stopped loving her but had just accepted that their timing had not been right and that maybe someday he would get his chance. Apparently, she had been doing the same thing so she couldn’t blame him for what had happened. It was her who had initiated it in the first place.
He knew she was acting strangely. She too had felt what he had but she just wasn’t ready to embrace her feelings. They ceased to talk and would often snap at each other. Other times there would just be a exchange of a few formal words between them which would be followed by deafening silence. Now that things were awkward and different between them, they would often get end up in situations where they would be left alone with each other. This made matters more complicated. But they couldn’t bear each other’s absence either. They would often look into the screens of their phones, late at night, debating whether they should message each other. On messaging, there would be a few texts exchanged and then they would bid adieu.
He knew he couldn’t bear it anymore. He had waited this long for what? He was in a dark mood all day long. Grieving about how he would persuade his himself to stay away from her. He refused to speak to his friends about his issues. He was up all nights thinking about her and wishing that they wouldn’t have to end it. He wouldn’t be able to bear it. But tonight, was the final night and he knew he had to forget her. He lifted himself from his pool of sorrow and calmed himself before taking the decision of trying to forget her. The tears flowed freely and his hands shook. He held the railings of his balcony to steady himself. There was no turning back now. A shiver passed his body and he felt a chill. This was necessary because for how long could he carry on this way? His heart had already been broken by her twice and it wouldn’t be able to withstand yet another blow!
His phone buzzed. He saw the screen light up and he slowly dragged himself towards his bed. Her name flashed across the screen. Why had she called him at this hour? He hesitated before answering the call. She sounded like she had been crying. That was the moment, they both knew. Their sound of their voices carried messages which were known only to the heart. Just when they had given up, love had miraculously as ever given them hope. This sliver of hope was something they both could hold onto and yet continue to make sense of their lives. Love was worth holding onto and that was what they realized that night when they finally spoke to each other. Never give up when it hurts the most because after the darkest hour only come the first rays of light followed by a bright morning full of sunshine. -Babar Mir
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