I am not seeking to insert myself or other heterosexual men into safe spaces created to service the…

“ […] it’s difficult to find instances where advocates or social scientists are even bothering to look.

As an heterosexual male who has experienced harassment, I take that as a clue that advocacy in this area isn’t always dealing well with the real world.”

I have never in the past 40 years had difficulty finding instances where advocates at al. were unaware of the breadth and scope of a problem, to say nothing of being aware of the existence of straight ident cis* men and the possibility that they too may also be targets of violence and injustice. Especially since the advent of “Queer Theory” the discussion floor has been wide open.

What i have seen is a reluctance of straight ident cis* men to connect with one another and organize to become a constructive and equally well versed participant in the emancipatory dialog. And more often than not what straight ident cis* men would like to add to the discussion is by way of relativizing the frequency and intensity of the injustice experienced by non-straight ident non-cis* non-men. You can perhaps imagine that members of a discussion arriving ill-prepared and then seeming to want to belittle the experience of others makes the rest of the group feel stand-off-ish at best.

I empathize with your frustration at feeling less than taken seriously, perhaps more than you can possibly imagine. At the same time i might call to your attention, that the fact that your doubting i am dealing with “the real world” may have to do with the fact that i am not sitting at the same table as you are for some very real reasons that have to do with the fact that i am not a straight ident cis* man who has experienced harassment, but someone who merely has to leave the house, go on line, look at a tv, newspaper, etc. and will immediately and relentlessly be confronted with what i am not and how i am to be sanctioned for it. This includes insidious factors like invisibility all the way to the constant threat of acute physical violence almost anywhere i am. The fact that you do not see how that is different from what you experience has to do with the fact that you do not experience what i experience. That can hardly be construed as my being out of touch with reality. You are really gonna have to trust me and the rest of the non-straight ident non-cis non-men on this one, and if it irks you that there just are things into which you cannot penetrate, then i strongly suggest you discuss that with those who share this frustration. You can be quite sure that for a myriad of reasons, not the least of which is a lack of appetence, i for one will not come pestering you there, and perhaps you will amongst yourselves come up with a reason why some feel that things that happen to them don’t just happen gratuitously to everyone else the same way and feel poo-pooed when the guy who looks and sounds like the guys you cross the street if possible to avoid running into starts telling you it is the same for him.

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