Thanks for writing this. Yesterday i first read that Greta Zimmer Friedman was not kissing but was kissed, and then i read your article today.
And then i read what you wrote about yourself and your folks, and then i was ricocheting of the rubberroom walls of my skull and wishing i could talk to someone you reminded me of who was never “my” parent but the parent i longed for when i was a young guy. Now that i am getting old i don’t always think about that longing, except when i run into people who remind me of that very very very far off part of my life that was really part of someone else’s life even though one of those “someone else-s” is in fact a former me. No i don’t expect you to, or even think you have to understand all of that. I am imagining spirit of someone you reminded me of listening, and nodding in a way that doesn't say “i’m ignoring you,” but doesn't pretend to get-it either. It’s a nice sort of stinging, sweet feeling, thank you for that too.
As to #metoo. I’m glad you said what you said the way you said it, because i am not sure i could have, but really wanted someone to say it. And sure, i am a #metoo who could ride the running board of your “bandwagon” image, and if needed i could call a (non-woman ident) friend or two who cold join me on that running board. And yeah, it is not alway easy not to say, “Oh yeah!? Well i broke my leg once too y’know!?” in order not to have to talk about someone else’s broken leg. I had to learn how and when to ask, “Does it hurt bad? How can i help?”
Thanks Abby. (and thanks Sue)
I got some ideas on what we could do about this mess. Actually i live a few of those ideas, but i bet there are some i haven’t heard yet. So who wants the talking-stick?