Heterosexual men can be harassed, too.

There is a “blind spot” if you will, in the patriarchal narrative that posits male perpetrator / non-male victim. The latter dichotomy, though it generally works “for” male ident folks and against those who are not (or are not viewed as male), is not a clearly win / lose equation but a very manifold, complex and ever-changing set of phenomena that in and ideal world ought to interest everyone. Far from being something Queer / Feminist / LGBT*i* thinkers ignore, it is in fact something that is talked about exhaustively with in Queer / Feminist / LGBT*i* contexts, as the above article illustrates. It is even one of the realities Queer / Feminist / LGBT*i* activists try to call attention to in order to motivate the “profiteurs” of the dominant narrative to push back against their own privilege(s).

One of the disadvantages of the male perpetrator / non-male victim paradigm is for example that safe spaces where men (esp. straight ident cis* men) can talk about feeling victimized by sexual violence, and can work through the related trauma are relatively rare. Not that those for the rest of us grow on trees. Feminists / Queer / LGBT*i*Q have spent a century helping to create these safe spaces for ourselves. These are of course not all closed to straight ident cis* men, but as you can imagine not everything about these offers is translatable, suitable or appropriate to everyone, and creating safe spaces can entail not everyone always having unlimited access to all spaces at all times.

I am sure with a bit of thought many other examples of where the patriarchal narrative causes a sort of “collateral damage” to those it is meant to “benefit” could be listed, and the last of those who would not be elated to see these serious ills remedied are clearly Feminists / Queer / LGBT*i*Q folks. That is certainly something Feminists / Queer / LGBT*i*Q folks can assist in, but the experts on it will have to be for the most part straight ident cis* men. Sure i can share what my experiences was and felt like for me, what i did about it and how that went, and i can listen to you. But i am not you. You are gonna have to do the leg work yourself. And if you feel like i am not always talking about you too when i am talking about me, maybe that is a feeling to explore and to use to help you think about when other people have something to share and are feeling less that taken seriously.