Teaching Your Child To Deal With Bullies
Seeing your child grow brings a satisfaction to a parent that no other achievement can beat. From an infant to a crawling toddler and then to a school going kid. Time passes quickly and you feel you couldn’t live every moment completely. But its a reality you have to face, your baby is moving out of your arms and into the school world. Though it might seem just as safe, it really isn’t so.
Ever heard of bullying? No it isn’t so bookish and has a practical ugly reality! It might sound ghastly that these tiny delicate souls can be bullies. But that is a sad reality you cannot overlook. Since in school your child is away for 6 hours all alone and you have little control on what happens there. This makes it important for your your child to be equipped to handle tough situations on his own. We have compiled a list of skills that you can inculcate in him that will help your child stand up to bullies!
You remember the evil philosophy of ‘Divide and Rule’? That’s what makes these bullies stronger and capable of making the victim all the more powerless. Never, like NEVER let your child feel he is alone in this. Though you cannot be present all the time but his friends can. Encourage them to stand by each other to face the bullies. This will to some extent scare them and stop bulling at early stage!
Bring to Light
Numerous times it happens that you ignore your child’s tales and he starts feeling that you are not interested in his life. This discourages him to share his troubles with you as he feels you wont help him out. Make it clear to them that you care for them and are available in all times of need. Though you may be unable to pick up small instances as bullies plot their moves in socially acceptable ways. Ask them to bring all bullying incidents to light so that you can help!
The bullies work with the principle of stuffing information in the victim’s head that if she tells anyone she will be labeled as ‘bigmouth’ so as to isolate them! Children feel that their humiliation will increase multifold with this tag. It is important to tell them that telling such incidences to an adult symbolizes strength and does not mark them as a coward! Bullies fall powerless when they see that they are unable to isolate the victim!
The more you bear the bullying, more powerful will be the bully’s hold on you. Generally it starts with milder actions like teasing, name calling, pushing or small physical fights. This is like a test to see whether you will involve the adults or stand up for yourself or not. Once their doubts are cleared the harassment rises to new higher levels. Tell your child to stand for himself right in the beginning as nipping them in their buds will be only make life easier!
Equip your little one with the skill of assertiveness. No response to abuse invites more of it. If the bully realizes that he will not be able to overpower the victim he backs off. But it is important to ensure that your child does not get aggressive and limits his tone to assertiveness only. An aggressive response hurts the bully’s ego and this may lead to further fights. A moderate tone is best to stop the abuse right when it starts!
Even if your child is not verbally giving in to the bully, he may through his body language give clues that the bully was successful. Signs like avoiding eye contact, raising voice, teary eyes or moving back are simple cues of your surrender. Instead teach your child how to remain calm while talking to a bully, looking them in the eye, maintaining a constant distance and using his name repeatedly to show non verbal assertiveness and wiggle out of the bully situation!
Education is an important part of life but being subjected to bullying for it is not acceptable. Teaching your child these skills is equipping him with more confidence to deal with bullies. Learning to manage tough situations on his own at such a tender age will go a long way in helping him become a more stable and confident adult. Little effort will not only improve your child’s present but will brighten his future as well, so its totally worth the effort!