Centaury — Flower Essence for Oversensitivity To the Needs of Others
Centaury is For Individuals Who are Unable to Protect Their Own Interests or To Say NO
Centaury people are oversensitive to the needs of others. This manifests by them taking other peoples commitments on themselves and in those situations they have no boundaries. Their giving has no boundaries and therefore, slowly, they may become slaves to others.
Others become accustomed to this, Centaury person get used to being served and no longer think about whether others are asking for too much. A particular problem for Centaury people is when they find themselves communicating with a dominant person (their boss at work, a dominant partner, parent, child). That person can take advantage of them and misuse the willingness of a Centaury person to be of service. As Centaury does not know where the boundaries are, they do not know how to say ”No”.
It is a fact that Centaury people are joyful and happy when they are able to help others. It is also a fact that they feel desperate and suffer greatly when, due to their passivity, they do not prevent people from exploiting them. Despite their difficult emotional state, they continue to serve and not defend themselves.
With their excessive giving, Centaury people threaten their own psychological or personal boundaries towards their surroundings. Both children and adults, men and women, can, in some situations, possess a Centaury motivation and a Centaury behavior.
What does the remedy do?
The remedy works very quickly. It enables an individual to set boundaries when giving and doing favors. It helps them say ”No, now is not a good time” or ”No, that is not good for me at all,” or ”No, I do not like that, do not insist”, in situations when it is necessary to do so. The will to help others will remain, except they will help when they are able to and when they cannot, they will reject it openly, loudly, clearly and without aggression.
At this point a few things should be mentioned about forms of communication between people. There are three forms, three manners of communication:
- Passive manner
2. Aggressive manner
3. Assertive manner, what we call the ”happy medium”
- The passive manner implies that we do not defend ourselves, we are silent, nodding our heads in agreement, even though we do not agree with what is required of us. We are angry and curse ourselves, but in no way do we show this.
- The aggressive manner is the opposite of that — we communicate with others by attacking, quarrelling, shouting, commanding, seeking or refusing something.
- The assertive manner is not passive, because we are committed to our own interests. It is not aggressive, because we are committed to ourselves in such a way that we keep in mind the interest of others as well. We are committed to openly, calmly and loudly say what our interests are in a situation. We let others know what suits us best.
That is why in this communication we are looking for that which is in accordance with our interests and we refuse what is not in our interests.
We can also change our minds, when we subsequently realize that what we agreed to, does not suit us after all.
Assuming that others know what we need and then staying quiet when we disagree can only lead to misunderstandings.
If we do not show others where our limits are, they will unintentionally exceed them and unintentionally hurt us.
Therefore, Centaury is the remedy of choice for all those who cannot stand up for their interests and those who are victims of aggressive people (mentally abused, like the victims of psychological bullying, or those who are physically abused). Remedy helps to develop an assertive way of communicating with others.
